Diner Trips Mugs

"Yeah, single origin coffee - from this pot."

"Stephen and I are today's special."

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

"Vindaloo hot enough?"

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

"Is the MSG local?"

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

Countervailing Clichés.

Alphabet soup gets cold for slow readers.

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

'It's just some Pour 'n' Serve, Stir 'n' Blend, Bake 'n' Slice, Mix 'n' Broil and Chop 'n' Simmer.'

'How is the water prepared?'

"You've ordered comfort food. May I recommend a comfort wine?"

'Can I have flies with that'

'So,,,apparently you're really a dude,'

What's your thumb doing on my steak? Want me to drop it again?

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

"Tia Carmen, if you had a bucket list, what would you put in it?"

Looking at belt - "One more notch, room for desert."

'You don't have to drive around. We bring the food to your table.'

'What wine do you recommend with the peanut butter-filled, deep fried, jalapeno bacon bombs?'

'Pass the grey stuff.'

Vegetarian Restaurant: Choose Your Own Cabbage

You're pig-headed, Louis, I like that in a man.

'They're not mints - they're antacid tablets.'

"You're close, but you're not the record. The record for one family in one booth—all from out of state, each ordering a complete breakfast—was set in 1978, with fifteen."

"This time when they show us their latest acquisition, we'll gush regardless."

'Tasty bird.'

'Your tea is getting cold.'

Continental Breakfast...$2.99: 'What continent is THIS supposed to represent?'

"Great God Almighty! Somebody please wake me up and tell me I'm only dreaming that the chicken marsala costs a whopping twenty-eight ninety-five!"

"What do you recommend today?"