Dine And Laugh Enthusiast Gifts

You complimented the chef on his dumplings-now he wishes to return the compliments!

'Eight years old, huh? If it's so good, why didn't somebody drink it eight years ago?'

'For a small extra charge, we can provide a specially-formulated digestive enzyme.'

"I can assure you ladies all our eggs come from free range chickens."

"Give my compliments to the Biotech industry"

"Did you order the flying jalapeños?"

'I asked for a rare steak and you certainly don't see many as BAD as this!'

"What fly?"

"Tonight, we'll be eating hot dogs with a mustard-ketchup-and-pickle purée, accompanied by peas lightly sprinkled with ketchup. Then fettuccine al dente with a ketchup sauce, followed by applesauce maison with a dollop of you know what!"

"We'll get your food going as soon as the exterminators are done in the kitchen."

"Please be advised that our new chef's policy is that you're not allowed to leave until you've finished all the food on your plate."

"Over the long haul, it's been a long haul."

'This isn't soup of the day. Today's Tuesday.'

'Waiter, is it raining?' ] 'Sorry, not my table.'

Lunch Broker

Bob ordered the breakfast special of bacon with two eggs served any way he wanted.

'I thought it was my turn to cook, but I didn't make anything because I wanted you to take me out to eat.'

'If you were in a hurry, sir, you shoudn't have ordered the overnight marinade.'

'Lobster £18.30!!!!' 'Bad reaction to seafood.'

'How about a drink?' 'You've got gravy.'

'There must be some mistake -- Kings don't pay for things.'

'I have to go on a diet. Evidently the best things in life aren't fat free!!'

"Expect a generous gratuity on table 9...I hacked his tip calculator."

'I told you the waiter would remember you gave him a 2 cent tip the last time.'

"Actually waiter, we asked for garlic bread."

Joe's Bar and Grill and Focus Group.

'No, the fish isn't battered - the cook just roughs it up a bit!'

"What wine would you recommend to go with male chauvinist pork?"

'One of the steaks fell on the floor - to be fair, you'd better toss for them. . .'

A waiter says:'You guys know you're supposed to text me when you're ready right?' the patrons are dead . . .

"Excuse me, my bowl and glass seem to be stuck to the table."

"Who ordered the eviscerated mouse carcass?"

"You're a very interesting waiter, but don't you have any other tables to take care of?"

"I wanted to make sure you were both happy enough with your life to withstand a major setback with your food."