Dine-and-dasher Pillows

Newark by Night. A new Dutch restaurant just opened. What do you know about Dutch cuisine? Nothing. But I'm a big fan of the "Dutch Treat" concept.

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

"I like to sit facing the room to see if anyone seated after us gets served before us."

Countervailing Clichés.

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

'How is the water prepared?'

"'Well done' lulled him into complacency."

'So,,,apparently you're really a dude,'

What's your thumb doing on my steak? Want me to drop it again?

'Can I have flies with that'

'He was hosting a business dinner for 300. Those were his last words.'

I don

'They're not mints - they're antacid tablets.'

You're pig-headed, Louis, I like that in a man.

'What wine do you recommend with the peanut butter-filled, deep fried, jalapeno bacon bombs?'

A menu with risks and benefits

"I forgot my wallet. Do you know 'Folsom Prison Blues'?"

'You made me jump,'

'Careful, the plate is really hot.'

'Your tea is getting cold.'

'A tiny kitchen, one cook, and great food...I don't know how they do it.'

Diner. Breakfast Specials. I'm a type "C" personality. Until I have my morning coffee I have no personality at all.

Chicken Coupe.

Foodies at a Diner. We'll have the alphabet soup, unless it's Helvetica or Times New Roman.

Diner. We're out of link sausages. Are patties okay? Any pork in a storm!

I like the look of the sherry trifle!

'Hey, Frenchie - you call this paupiettes de beouf aux legumes?'

'Ralph, I'm gonna' need wings on the fly!'

Big Boy Foot

'This is not Hungarian stew.' 'We ran out of Hungarians.'

'Not yet! Wait until he hits the breaking point... we just gave him some warm, soft bread and the cold, hard butter... THEN we bring out the flimsy plastic knife.'

Cafe offers corn several ways.

'Help! -- I ate too much and I can't get up!'

Our specials today include salad and dessert. Tip and service are NOT included.

'I'm sorry, sir, but cheeseburgers are out of season.'