Digital Soldier Gifts

'Doesn't it seem ironic to you that your avitar is a fierce soldier and you live in your parent's basement?' - 'I think of it as being entrenched in an underground bunker.'

Moses on the web

"I got 30 likes but Mom's was not one of them."

'Now I know why the strategy guide warned against entering the 5th stage. Awesome!'

"In the same of the phone, the tablet, and the desktop computer."

'I got an F today - for improper interfacing with my computer.'

Second lifeReal life.

"Good heavens William, what have you downloaded off the internet this time?"

"And lastly, for my infinite perseverance, self-control and fortitude, I'd like to thank the Internet trolls."

God's Phone

'My new browser is so fast I have to take motion sickness pills.'

'Who said romance is dead? I just downloaded a screensaver with red roses and chocolates for your PC!'

Internet Cafe.

"I've got a better view on my smart phone."

"I have an app for that."

S.S.dot.com

"I'm being punished. I have to stay out of Wi-Fi range for an hour."

"Only three hundred and sixty-seven followers? Maria's not an asset to the abbey."

"Amen. Thanks everyone, oh and don't forget to subscribe!"

"A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer."

Information Tightrope.

'No, Father, they're not praying. They're texting.'

Follow God On Twitter

'Please pay attention. Pretend I'm a movie on your phone.'

Weapons of War Through the Ages.

'It is now safe to kick and swear at your computer'

'It's Sundays like this that I regret our church website is so popular.'

'For your penance, download five 'Hail marys' and ten 'Our fathers'.'

"You go pillage. I can loot from here."

'There's been an update. Instead of abracadabra, it's option/control key.'

"Just sign it, or I'll post YOUR old report cards on social media."

"We're testing a new virtual reality praise & worship system for the satellite campus."

"Our father who art at www.heaven.com..."