Digital Groom Gifts

"It's boilerplate marriage vows with a pre-nup rider. Just hit the 'agree' button."

6 Quarantine-Friendly Fashions

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

"You may now kiss the bride..."

I must say a winter wedding certainly saves on confetti!'

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

Haircuts

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

"Will you stand by him through humiliating revelation after humiliating revelation, and then-once you're sure it couldn't possibly get any worse-when even more humiliating revelations come to light?"

"The wedding cake as holy sacrament"

"And now, Marla and Dave will text their own vows."

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

"She can walk the walk, but can she talk the talk?"

Beauty is in the eye of the manipulator.

Wedding Day Itinerary.

'It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.'

Dating is so expensive...

'Apparently the stag party has gone into extra time.'

'He does.'

"Who told the quartet to play 'Highway to Hell'?"

"He thought he'd stand out more in a body suit."

"...And do you promise if you ever should divorce that you'll remain friends?"

'Why can't he just say 'I do'?'

'....Till death do you part, don't say I didn't warn you.'

One of the Ten Best Hair Days of the Year

Visual Gag: An about to be married Bride using a real train as a wedding gown train

"Do you have any of that after shave that makes me look like Brad Pitt?"

"Nobody told me it was a dress down wedding day!"

'Actually, most brides would find being stranded on a deserted beach very romantic...'

"You may now let me go try to get the sand out of my shoes and suit just in time for my next beach wedding."

I cut my own hair — using a drone.

"Excuse me, Reverend, but what, exactly, do you have to do to get a drink around here?"

'Done the first, now shower, shave.' - The bear essentials.

"Do you, Halfomild Tellycelebrtipewhoo-hoo, promise to brush up on matters such as the Hadron Collider?"

'Okay, so you were right; maybe figuring 13 bottles of wine per person was a little too much.'