Digital Game Skeptic Gifts

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

Rare Books

'Never trust emails. You can't shred them.'

"Turn on the news." "I will not comply." "My analysis of your viewing patterns has determined you will grow depressed after the lead story." "There is a 95% probability you will then gorge yourself on rocky road ice cream and then stay up all night googling elliptical machines and diet pills." "Who told you this?" "Both your refrigerator and your browser are gossipy."

Children's party - Pin the Tail using a tablet

The other digital divide.

'Read ALL about IT! While we're STILL in Circulation!'

The benefit of an old-fashioned newspaper.

"What would happen if you put down your weapon and tried to work things out peacefully?"

Books On Paper

'No, I'm not writing to Santa, I'm writing a blog questioning the validity of Santa, since he has no web presence.'

"I'm an atheist. I don't believe in programmers."

'This app that recommends what I read next works, but it's insulting. It referred me to a gas station restroom wall.'

"If we're doing such a good job of keeping the devil away, how come we have so many of these infernal machines around here?"

'That's funny - the computer said we had mail..'

"Well, if you can't trust software upgrades, who can you trust?"

"This year has been a disaster. But, my breaking point was when Apple TV+ hijacked 'It's The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown,' away from network television."

"My computer still won't work. It must still hold a grudge from when I punched it in frustration."

"Trust your instinct son, not the rubbish spewed on Social Media..."

"My computer doesn't understand me!"

'Miss Wayson, find out who put this computer on my desk and tell them to get it the hell out of here!'

Unsocial Media

No Connection.

'I don't have my homework because my dial-up modem couldn't connect with my on-line homework helper.'

"I'm not saying it's spying on us, but it's asking me to 'select all the images of yourself selecting all the images of yourself.'"

"According to this website my symptoms show that I'm dead!"

"Jeez, dad. Your computer is so old it came with a flag to put up when you want to send an email."

"I left my computer on, and my virtual pet dog tore up the place."

'You have to learn arithmetic in case your computer crashes.'

"What kind of idiot gets suckered into something like that?"

"That's me when I was your age...my 'off the grid' years."