Digital Family Humor Pillows

"Greetings, I'm the bluebird of dank memes."

Barcode Dreams

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

"Your mother and I want to make your 21st birthday a moving experience. We'll help you pack."

"So kids, you got work from your teachers right?"

"Mom! Dad! Do something!"

"....and then it turned out that the e-mail I ignored that I got from the Nigerian bank offering me £200 million was REAL!"

'Look dear, he's burning his first illegal download to rewritable dvd'

"I've got something to tell you,Dad-I don't like fish...I mean I REALLY don't like fish...I HATE fish,Dad-there,I've said it now."

"So tell me, Wallace. Has someone gobbled up my Viagra again?" "No. Wait. I thought they were delicious candy mints!"

Baby cries into a cellphone.

"But you said I should serve our guests the can of peas!"

"Our website design could be described as "organic"... in the sense that people often compare it to poop."

Ultra Sound/Downloading.

Goodnight Social Media.

'Shh, let me do the talking.'

Adult Absence Notes.

'You're making a marble cake? Did you run out of eggs?'

"Which one of my fiendish offspring defaced the bordelaise recipe with SpongeBob?"

Nerd emergency: tongue stuck to frozen PC screen.

Dad... this 'Book' thingy - where do you plug it in?

"One day you'll thank me for embarrassing you in front of the entire Internet."

'Baby's got his first blue tooth!'

"Mom said I can't watch TV until you finish my homework."

"I didn't say he was housebroken. I said he broke up the house."

"Lemonade App: $1"

'Sweetheart, It's time you knew... Your father isn't a real wildlife biologist.'

'Daddy-if we didn't have Mummy how would you know how to drive?'

"No, I thought YOU put the picnic basket in the car."

Feeding the baby