Digital Education Advocate Pillows

'Relax, dad, I haven't been in a classroom for months because all my college classes are online!'

"I got a gold star for going the longest without looking at my phone in class."

"How can I be a lead learner without the technology needed to lead?"

"Remember, education pays, unless you end up an adjunct - like me."

Common Core Family Therapy

"No, Einstein's theory of relativity isn't, 'don't marry your cousin.'"

"Well yes, I was shorn by the apprentice, but I don't mind really: everybody has to learn somehow..."

"You have been specially selected to upload your bank details. Offer ends midnight."

"So did you do all your leadership training online?"

'Boy or girl, straight or gay - I don't care as long as it's science-literate and non-republican.'

'I'm enrolling in an online course to learn how to apply for a loan for an online university.'

'Your father is having a tough time with his online course.'

"Why do I bother to evangelize online when no one listens?"

We only asked him to switch off his mobile and he seems to have shut down completely,

"Nice! Home school education has certainly changed since I was in school."

"Would you like me to show you how to use powerpoint?"

'I need ur homework ASAP!'

"Students only know the three Rs in context of the tree Ts: texts, tweets and tumblr."

''Increase education funding'? -- You want the people to get SMART?'

"My mommy's passwords are stronger than your mommy's passwords."

Someone should stop the school from taking the webcam photos of the students. The kid's parents are suing the school. Excellent. Which means our taxes will be wasted on lawyers. Someone else should stop them! My sentiments exactly.

"There's nothing to be scared of, Mrs. Miller, it's just another teaching tool!"

"I feel like you're limiting me to correct answers."

"O.K. Kindergarten friends, let's sing together... 'If you're happy and you know it - and you've washed your hands for at least 20 seconds and you've squirted some sanitizer on them - clap your hands.'"

"Let's see...I believe a computer will be available for your class six weeks from Friday between ten and eleven in the morning."

'Teacher layoffs adverted.'

"I liked 'class dismissed' better than 'please log off and exit'."

It's nice to have a positive parents' night topic. College admissions. Hearing about drugs, depression and sexually transmitted diseases gets old. The 3 downer 'Ds'. Tonight we'll discuss your kids' futures in higher education. We'll cover drugs, depression, diseases and crushing debt. Correction. 4 'Ds'.

"It might be easier for me to follow if you could animate the fractions."

"Why am I being trained on obsolete equipment?"

www.canyoudomyhomeworkforme.com

'Please excuse Harold for not having his homework. His internet service provider's servers were down and he couldn't connect to his online homework helpline.'

"Before we have our Maths lesson, a word from our sponsor"

Long queue for teacher recrutiment.'They're all bankers'

"Now don't forget to go on social media and rate today's lesson plan."