Digital Distraction Debater Gifts

"I bet the decline in the U.S. birth rate is thanks to Wordle."

The Proust of Twitter

Screen Time vs Book Time

Breaking News: Earth Crosses Multiple Lanes, Crashes into Sun... Distracted Orbiting to Blame.

"We broke up. I wanted a proprietary platform - she wanted open source."

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

"I had a great weekend... My Grandpa talked about the war again and my Dad about his most daring facebook comments!"

'We're beta testing Goo-Goo Glass.'

"You think you have problems? My entire wing command was just destroyed."

"Honey, come quick! This guy in the comments section just solved the Middle East crisis."

"DID YOU SEND THIS?"

'I can watch T.V. shows on the computer, so who needs a TV?'

"I virtually finished my homework."

What'r We Doing Today, Daddy?

"Not now, honey. Daddy's arguing with strangers about the sexual orientation of puppets."

"I can tell you about this article or you can just read the comments online."

"I know you're wrong, I just can't get the computer to say it yet."

"I'm just saying, if you had to turn off the TV, would you still remember how?"

"I reached Level Three of Super Mario Brothers!"

High Tech/Low Tech.

'When I was young we didn't have the interweb at our fingertips. . . we had to go to the library to get our questions answered!'

"I am in the moment - just not the moment you're in."

'Don't internalise that simmering rage -- get it out of your system on website comments sections.'

'Will this job requirer me to look up from my phone?'

"No you can' 'google' number seven!"

"Yeah yeah, nice, but how many online followers do you have?"

Diving Judge: Sorry, I Was Looking At My Phone.

Humpty Dumpty sat on a paywall.

"I'm just checking my inbox."