Digital Dilemma Debunkers Pillows

"You've got mail! Also, Time, CNN, HBO, ICQ, Warner Bros, Netscape, Sports Illustrated. . . . ."

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

Rare Books

"They want to put up a new cell tower in our neighbourhood?! We don't need more of those radio emission eyesores here! I'm gonna complain... ...as soon as I have better signal strength."

"We don't talk anymore."

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

'Never trust emails. You can't shred them.'

Library door sign says, 'We have encyclopedias ... the original Facebook!'

"Turn on the news." "I will not comply." "My analysis of your viewing patterns has determined you will grow depressed after the lead story." "There is a 95% probability you will then gorge yourself on rocky road ice cream and then stay up all night googling elliptical machines and diet pills." "Who told you this?" "Both your refrigerator and your browser are gossipy."

'Read ALL about IT! While we're STILL in Circulation!'

The other digital divide.

The Eternal Question

The benefit of an old-fashioned newspaper.

'No, I'm not writing to Santa, I'm writing a blog questioning the validity of Santa, since he has no web presence.'

"They say it's the first sign of aging - not being able to keep up with new technology."

'We need a memory upgrade ourselves to remember all these passwords.'

'Technology hates me.'

Social media and privacy

'This app that recommends what I read next works, but it's insulting. It referred me to a gas station restroom wall.'

"If we're doing such a good job of keeping the devil away, how come we have so many of these infernal machines around here?"

Social network site runs into trouble.

Computers. Tablets. Laptops. The model is entirely voice-activated. I've always wanted to tell a computer "off."

'Doing this with his e-mails made more impact than sending them.'

'That's funny - the computer said we had mail..'

"Well, if you can't trust software upgrades, who can you trust?"

"I'm just saying you're not allowed to use your phone during class. You're not being de-platformed."

'Darling you'll be so proud of me, I've just written my first email. Now I must rush to get it in the post.'

"My computer still won't work. It must still hold a grudge from when I punched it in frustration."

"Hold on, the puck is coming this way."

"If your computer crashes alone in a forest, and no one complains, does IT respond?"

'Doctor, I just can't seem to relate to my computer equipment these days.'

'You get one more try at logging in - After that, you have to all start all over with a whole new computer.'

Mousetrap has captured the wrong type of mouse.

"My computer doesn't understand me!"

'Miss Wayson, find out who put this computer on my desk and tell them to get it the hell out of here!'