Digital Decor Enthusiast Gifts

"At least you have taste when it comes to your computer's wallpaper."

"Ironically, this is the living room."

The Computer Bore

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

#Whyneighborsdon'tknowtheirneighbors

Decorated officer - 'And these are for keeping my pants up.'

Cake Free Zone

"Swiping won't cut it sonny-boy, you have to physically walk to the next painting."

A hammer in his den enjoying a cigar and port with his collection of trophy thumbs above his head.

'You do realise that's pot pourii?'

'I can't move in, Ted - your lifestyle is too modern. And your furniture is way too modern.'

"On second thought, mabe it would look better over there."

"We're so proud. Only 5 months old and already knows how to scroll and swipe."

"If it's got my ass on it, it's befitting of royalty."

'I'm not sure which I like best - the fake fire or the fake man with brandy glass in front of it.'

Woman has 3 towels in her restroom: 'Mine', 'Mine' and 'Mine'.

"I'd like to have my teeth scrimshawed without being, you know, harpooned."

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

IT staffer vacation tan lines.

'Welcome to the house warming! The map points out what is furniture and what is sculpture.'

Rogue elephant

"I'll bet you're very proud of your handsome, well-behaved little sporks here."

"The artist-in-residence is struggling a bit, but other than that we're fine."

Posh Easter Egg

"Hedge-fund managers have to have something over their sofas, too."

"Sure, this camp has swimming, games, fishing, horseback riding and rock climbing. But, does it have Wi-Fi?"

'Ooh, hey...real hardwood floors!'

"I'm ready to go whenever you're through fussing with tablescapes."

Leonardo Da Vinci's Cat

"We want it to look lived in, but not necessarily by us."

"So, what do you think about the web developer course you are taking?"

"My incentive for losing weight? I bought a fitted sheet a size to small."

"Dave, we need to talk about office props and work productivity."