Digital Communication Pillows

'We've been spending too much time apart on our mobile devices, and we need some together time. Everybody log on to the family social media page.'

Spam email is everywhere.

"I'm sorry, but the doctor no longer sees patients in person. But he does take e-mail from 9 to 3."

"Sorry, I was so busy thinking of what I was going to say that I didn't listen to what you said..."

'How am I going to check my email now..?'

Multitaskers Anonymous: We're All Mostly Listening

"There's been a huge outpouring of emoticons."

'It's true -- we DO communicate better in a chat room.'

Couple flirting in Text Language.

EEEEEEEEEEEE-Mail

'I occasionally need to read my tweets to remember what I was doing.'

'I like the way you walk the walk and talk the talk, but we want someone to blog the blog!'

"I have 500 Facebook friends. I wonder who the kid is who lives next door?"

'I don't shake hands anymore. Would you please just scan my QR code?'

"My tweet about not caring about what is trending is now trending."

"This twit keeps going on about social media echo chambers. I'm unfriending him."

Feel alienated by technology? Tell me more. Press 1 for yes, 2 for no.

"Not many here - but he was very popular on social media."

"LinkedIn has finally paid off - it got me two new followers on Twitter."

"It's another Sicilian message. It means 'Please disregard the previous Sicilian message - it was inadvertently sent to everyone on our list."

'The check is in the email attachment.'

"I wouldn't say I gave him a punch. I just gave him a three-dimensional emoticon."

Text Culture

'If I've learned anything, it's believe half of what's in the newspapers, and even less of what's in your e-mail.'

The Luddite Society

"We met through an internet chat group. Now he wants to mail me his digitalised sperm."

Right click for yes...

"That god for e-mail! I remember how much time I used to waste handing out armfulls of meaningless memos."

If you meet someone online who says he's a 22 year old software millionaire who looks like Harry Styles he's really unemployed, 45 and lives with his mother!

'I got the ain't nobody reading my tweets blues.'

"Close with yours truly, Phil, and coudl you sprinkle a few appropriate emoticons around?"

'I should never have mentioned it on facebook.'

"It says 'beware of robot dog.'"

"Greetings, I'm the bluebird of dank memes."

Elderly and artificial intelligence