Digital Communication Pillows

'We've been spending too much time apart on our mobile devices, and we need some together time. Everybody log on to the family social media page.'

"I'm sorry, but the doctor no longer sees patients in person. But he does take e-mail from 9 to 3."

Spam email is everywhere.

"Sorry, I was so busy thinking of what I was going to say that I didn't listen to what you said..."

'How am I going to check my email now..?'

Multitaskers Anonymous: We're All Mostly Listening

'It's true -- we DO communicate better in a chat room.'

'Ah, Mr. Collins? We are friends on Facebook, but I can't remember why.'

"There's been a huge outpouring of emoticons."

Couple flirting in Text Language.

EEEEEEEEEEEE-Mail

'I like the way you walk the walk and talk the talk, but we want someone to blog the blog!'

'I occasionally need to read my tweets to remember what I was doing.'

"I have 500 Facebook friends. I wonder who the kid is who lives next door?"

'I don't shake hands anymore. Would you please just scan my QR code?'

"My tweet about not caring about what is trending is now trending."

Online vs. Offline Behaviour

Feel alienated by technology? Tell me more. Press 1 for yes, 2 for no.

"This twit keeps going on about social media echo chambers. I'm unfriending him."

Follow me on Twitter...

"That god for e-mail! I remember how much time I used to waste handing out armfulls of meaningless memos."

"We met through an internet chat group. Now he wants to mail me his digitalised sperm."

'If I've learned anything, it's believe half of what's in the newspapers, and even less of what's in your e-mail.'

'I got the ain't nobody reading my tweets blues.'

'I should never have mentioned it on facebook.'

Who needs Life? I've got Facebook!

'Your twitter followers are mostly college kids who like to party. Are you sure you want to tweet early Sunday morning?'

If you meet someone online who says he's a 22 year old software millionaire who looks like Harry Styles he's really unemployed, 45 and lives with his mother!

The Modern Novel.

"Close with yours truly, Phil, and coudl you sprinkle a few appropriate emoticons around?"

"It's another Sicilian message. It means 'Please disregard the previous Sicilian message - it was inadvertently sent to everyone on our list."

"LinkedIn has finally paid off - it got me two new followers on Twitter."

'The check is in the email attachment.'

Text readings.

Right click for yes...