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"I think she's like tech support."

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

Weird things I do because of the internet

A Preschool of Fish

"Everyone says she has the clutter of someone twice her age."

"It says here that if you read stuff on an electronic device you can miss the big picture."

'I'm just using this while my monster truck is in the shop.'

'This is Tyler; he's mommy's precious little feral-angel.'

'sugar and spice my eye.'

Cuba restarts virtual classes

'I almost get out the door and then my mom yells...'Don't you know it's February?!' And here I am again...looking like an eskimo.'

"This translation app isn't working."

'If you are here, you'll be late for gym class."

"All this time I've been trying to get her to walk, and all it took was a phone."

"Some fine day, my son, all this will be yours."

The guy who took a wrong turn off the electronic superhighway and wound up in a microwave oven in Davenport, Iowa.

"You kids are losing your ability to communicate person-to-person...so we're having a good old-fashioned family talk!"

'We are considering a nursery expansion.'

Babies

"I like to consider Third Grade as just another life hack."

"I was pretty highly respected until email came along."

'You can always tell the pediatricians.'

"I was just ringing to see if you got the e-mail about the letter I sent you?"

'Data, data everywhere!'

'I feel much safer living in a gated community.'

Man about to enter a maze with a arrow saying 'Internet' with the world at its center

"You mentioned separation anxiety. Don't worry, she'll be all right."

'I know we're not 'almost there,' but I keep asking just to keep her focused.'

"Recalculating... Recalculating... Recalculating... Recalculating..."

"Forgetting passwords doesn't make you a bad person, Arnold."

"Will you turn that TV down? Can't you see I'm on the phone?"

"This baby will hold more than a hundred and twenty-five cubic feet of family rancor."

We're waiting to see if he'll see his shadow.