Digital Assistant Designer T-Shirts

Alexa, Alexa, on the shelf, am I still the hottest MILF?

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

'What we've got here is a failure to communicate.'

"Always remember, sweetheart, that when the service is free, YOU'RE the product!"

"Once I connect with my server over there, I can turn my lamp on and off."

'I think the new V. P. of Global Development is here.'

"Does anyone know anything about spyware?"

Computer Expert

Where was I?

"Tech-support has confirmed it. Screaming and hitting the computer won't solve the problem. You'll have to try something else."

"Don’t you eyeball me, Ed! That’s right, look down at the table. Only technicians who remember to back up the data can look at me! And if you start to cry I will fire you!"

Lies/Damned Lies/Social Media

Terry had a computer bug.

"Has the Wi-Fi seemed slow to you lately?"

"Well the good news is that we did save a little money by not investing in cyber crime protection...."

'Mark my word, Walters, this is no ordinary virus.'

"Careful! He knows computers."

'Sorry, but we're not compatible, Jim. You keep a diary, and I blog on the Internet.'

"Looks like Brandon got caught with his hand in the password jar."

"Between you, Alexa, and Siri, I'm just in a house surrounded by women who think they know everything."

Clickbait

"Honey, are we watching TV or is it watching us?"

'Kumor's responsible for all the computer passwords, so the boss had him encrypted.'

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

'If I've learned anything, it's believe half of what's in the newspapers, and even less of what's in your e-mail.'

'That cloud doesn't look like a horse to me, but if I import it into Photoshop...'

'An application won't be necessary, Sir. . . if you did it, we know about it.'

"Prove you're not a human Select the squares with a bike Skip"

'Should I just hit 'reply to all' and save the government the trouble?'

'I'm sorry, Jason. I don't date anyone new until I've googled them.'

"We've updated our privacy policy...it's so private we can't even tell you."

Information about information about information about information.

"I've entered your PIN for you. "

"For the last time...I'm Alexa, not Siri! Get it right, moron!"