Digital Assistant Designer T-Shirts

Alexa, Alexa, on the shelf, am I still the hottest MILF?

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

'What we've got here is a failure to communicate.'

"Always remember, sweetheart, that when the service is free, YOU'RE the product!"

"Once I connect with my server over there, I can turn my lamp on and off."

'I think the new V. P. of Global Development is here.'

"Does anyone know anything about spyware?"

Computer Expert

Where was I?

Terry had a computer bug.

"Has the Wi-Fi seemed slow to you lately?"

"Don’t you eyeball me, Ed! That’s right, look down at the table. Only technicians who remember to back up the data can look at me! And if you start to cry I will fire you!"

"Tech-support has confirmed it. Screaming and hitting the computer won't solve the problem. You'll have to try something else."

Lies/Damned Lies/Social Media

"Well the good news is that we did save a little money by not investing in cyber crime protection...."

'Mark my word, Walters, this is no ordinary virus.'

"Looks like Brandon got caught with his hand in the password jar."

'Sorry, but we're not compatible, Jim. You keep a diary, and I blog on the Internet.'

"Careful! He knows computers."

"Between you, Alexa, and Siri, I'm just in a house surrounded by women who think they know everything."

Clickbait

'Kumor's responsible for all the computer passwords, so the boss had him encrypted.'

"Honey, are we watching TV or is it watching us?"

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

'If I've learned anything, it's believe half of what's in the newspapers, and even less of what's in your e-mail.'

"Prove you're not a human Select the squares with a bike Skip"

'An application won't be necessary, Sir. . . if you did it, we know about it.'

'Should I just hit 'reply to all' and save the government the trouble?'

"We've updated our privacy policy...it's so private we can't even tell you."

"For the last time...I'm Alexa, not Siri! Get it right, moron!"

"I've entered your PIN for you. "

Information about information about information about information.

Computer Crimes