Digital Assistant Specialist T-Shirts

"Alexa, give me the meaning of life..."

"Once I connect with my server over there, I can turn my lamp on and off."

"Between you, Alexa, and Siri, I'm just in a house surrounded by women who think they know everything."

"For the last time...I'm Alexa, not Siri! Get it right, moron!"

'I guess this is what we get for going to a discount web-page designer.'

"Siri, am I ready to take a look at the dessert menu?"

"Alexa sort this s**t out!"

'Please pardon the inconvenience while this web page is under construction.'

"Hey google, find me research that says sugar is good for you."

"Ms Hathaway, I need to test my mettle. Find someone on social media who thinks they can bully me."

"Oh, I'm okay. This is just my resting zoom face."

Church Sign Asks If You Are Prepared for Digital Conversion.

Don Z. And His User-Friendly Apartment

Armed Forces: We are need in of computer hackers to handle our cyber warfare defenses.

"Sorry. I now only identify as Alex."

"For security, our signs need to be at least eight characters long."

"I'm strictly yes or no. Alexa and Siri deal with facts. Value judgements we leave to your mother."

"Alexa. . . why do I have this feeling that I'm under almost constant surveillance?"

Rudolph vents. . . .

Alexa, Alexa, on the shelf, am I still the hottest MILF?

"I'd like a second opinion, preferably from a woman."

"Too much information."

"That's not the pepper grinder. That's Alexa."

"I changed the voice on my smart phone to a cranky old man. So now when I have a question, I can just ask Surly."

"It's not empty, stupid! You're looking at 3 million in Bitcoin!"

'This is Richard, he's been the victim of identity theft.'

"I can't talk now, Siri. . . Alexa is right here in the room!"

'Don't worry. She probably just needs help with her computer.'

"Winslow's computer must be down again."

Lost job due to downloads. Please help.

"Siri, clean up all the Christmas decorations."

It was cute when my digital assistant played "Bye Bye Birdie" after I asked for help with a pesky bird. But it was just snarky playing the theme from "Mission: Impossible" when I asked for guidance on reducing my debt.

"No...wait. This the new iphone."

"Shall I google how long it takes for acid to wear off?"

"Nope, not under the cushion. Siri, where else do you think my remote could be?"