Digital Age Humorist Gifts

"I think we're named after computer passwords."

Confirm My Biases.Com

'I wanted to see which would run out first...battery power or idiots.'

'I often commit the sin of pride, Reverend. I imagine myself being googled.'

Digital Bug

Computer says 'Download now', 'Get it all', 'Read online'. Man says: 'I'll have the free lunch please.'

"Grandpa's not tech savvy. If I want to unfriend someone, I say, 'I don't like you anymore' to their face."

'Okay. If this new TV's as smart as a computer, where's the 'Skip Ad' button?'

'My dog ate my computer.'

'Bless me, Father, for I have turned 'Safesearch' off.'

'Email'

"My name is the Cloud, and I'll be your server."

'You post intimate details on Facebook, you want to be followed on Twitter, you send out dozens of selfies a day, yet you're paranoid about your computer's camera?'

'Yes, I received it but somehow it doesn't feel the same, displaying e-cards.'

'But in the end, despite Mr. Dolbert's 12,365 facebook friends, we all die alone.'

S�ance "I'm through to your husbands voice-mail"

'Sorry buddy, no username or password = no wishes!'

"Bad news Dad, I've just received an e-Alert: The farmer's wife has downloaded a "Coq au Vin" recipe..."

Internet affecting your mind.

News Feed

The Paperless Office

'Do you know your lips move when you text?'

Mobile Addiction

"Oh, it's ON!!!"

G. Reaper started following you.

"The treats are in there, but it's password protected."

Welcome to MOVIEFONE.

"That one is for beating Eric Trump at Angry Birds."

"Ask him where he stored all our usernames and passwords."

"Ned's a lot more fun to live with since he stopped believing ANYTHING he sees on the internet."

"What happens to all the files in the cloud if it rains?"

"I'm just gonna reach in my back pocket real slow-like and turn off my ringer."

"Put that away. You know there's no texting in school."

"No, that's not data pouring from the clouds. That's just rain. Let me explain how cloud technology works again. . ."

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "