Digital-age Contemplator Pillows

"Don't mind me."

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

"I don't post selfies because I don't want people to feel better or worse about their looks."

"They didn't want to be identified in my photo, so I blurred their butts."

'Charlotte's Website' ('The children's book classic rewritten for the electronic era!')

"The low-res JPEG of Dorian Gray"

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

'What do you mean, I just flunked the Turing test?'

"I'm trying to Google what I was thinking about twenty minutes ago!"

'I have a homepage, therefore I am.'

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!"

"Between you, Alexa, and Siri, I'm just in a house surrounded by women who think they know everything."

"We're making a video of us watching TV so we can watch ourselves watching TV...later."

"Lately, I've been trying to spend less time staring at the glowing orb."

Sisyphus during Covid

"We no longer have to hide. Bigfoot hunters now only search for us online. It's going to be lonely around here."

"Why are all of your answers so mechanical?"

Evolution...the wifi rhino.

"Today we'll examine that age old question of robot accomplishment: programming or processor?"

Life after death

'Can you just send the digital copy?'

"I wasn't copying off others. I was just crowdsourcing the answers."

"If you prayed to Google instead of God, you might get a constructive response."

"No, it's not codependency. The neediness is just in one direction."

"Google gets thousands of requests each day to erase links. Most of them seem to go back to my website."

Please stand by...I have temporarily lost my reason.

'It's a book, Sweetie - it doesn't have any ram!'

"You text LOL, but you have yet to actualize LOL..."

"The answers to the questions you seek could also be found on Google."

One can hardly be expected to solve the riddle of existence without a computer

"Can you spare a few megabytes of your precious time?"

"Siri, are Charlie’s parents to blame for his neurosis?"

'What does the internet have against my people?'

"I need a pitchfork that's just a pitchfork."