Digital-age Contemplator Pillows

"Don't mind me."

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

"I don't post selfies because I don't want people to feel better or worse about their looks."

"They didn't want to be identified in my photo, so I blurred their butts."

'Charlotte's Website' ('The children's book classic rewritten for the electronic era!')

"The low-res JPEG of Dorian Gray"

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

'What do you mean, I just flunked the Turing test?'

"I'm trying to Google what I was thinking about twenty minutes ago!"

'I have a homepage, therefore I am.'

"Lately, I've been trying to spend less time staring at the glowing orb."

"Between you, Alexa, and Siri, I'm just in a house surrounded by women who think they know everything."

Sisyphus during Covid

"We're making a video of us watching TV so we can watch ourselves watching TV...later."

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!"

"Why are all of your answers so mechanical?"

"Today we'll examine that age old question of robot accomplishment: programming or processor?"

Evolution...the wifi rhino.

Life after death

"We no longer have to hide. Bigfoot hunters now only search for us online. It's going to be lonely around here."

'Can you just send the digital copy?'

"I wasn't copying off others. I was just crowdsourcing the answers."

'It's a book, Sweetie - it doesn't have any ram!'

"No, it's not codependency. The neediness is just in one direction."

"You text LOL, but you have yet to actualize LOL..."

Please stand by...I have temporarily lost my reason.

"The answers to the questions you seek could also be found on Google."

One can hardly be expected to solve the riddle of existence without a computer

'What does the internet have against my people?'

"Can you spare a few megabytes of your precious time?"

"I need a pitchfork that's just a pitchfork."

"Siri, are Charlie’s parents to blame for his neurosis?"

"If you prayed to Google instead of God, you might get a constructive response."

To get past the gates of Heaven you have to now enter an internet style password