Digital Absurdity Appreciator Pillows

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

Giant ape juggling planes and captive.

Barcode Dreams

"I have to refill it everyday. He has a tendency to retain water."

'Oh great. Our luggage has been sent to Alpha Centauri.'

The deadly sport of cobra staring contests.

"Exactly how undecided would you say you were at this precise moment?"

"Good news. It's a small pig."

"Now that's what I'M talkin' 'bout!"

"And once you've achieved your 25% improvement in client satisfaction surveys, we need you to solve the problem of global warming,third world poverty and cold toast."

Admissions test for the Danbury Institute of Philosophy

The Ekert Saga: 'Ah, another week of school begins...might as well try to make the most of it!...You're crampin' my style, Ekert.'

"And the Hungriest Black Hole there ever was ate everything in the entire universe and lived happily ever after."

"But you can eat as much as you want from the tree of bullshit."

"Leon, honey, you break all the rules of dramaturgy."

"Could you tilt the Earth just a bit more away from the light?"

'It's in my belly-button if you must know!'

The missiles had failed...so it was down to Frank...and plan B.

Government survey into the effects of haggis throwing in Ethiopia.

"Leonard! Throw me the car keys!"

"My Weight Watchers meeting's tonight. I'd better get inside."

"What if the cat stuck in the tree has a gun? Is that an emergency?"

"Mom! Dad! Do something!"

"From this you make a living?"

Golf Hole at bottom of lake.

'That will be 100 hours of community service in some other community.'

"This is never going to work—you're a tree!"