Everyday Absurdity Appreciator Pillows

Man in traffic jam watches couple row while eating popcorn.

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"If nothing else needs welding, Paula, I'm going to lunch."

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

'Before you can enter, you need to punch in the verification code so we can be certain that you're a real soul,'

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

'Oh great. Our luggage has been sent to Alpha Centauri.'

Glance Exchange

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

Barcode Dreams

Giant ape juggling planes and captive.

"Bigfoot"

Penguins flying to igloo birdhouse

"I have to refill it everyday. He has a tendency to retain water."

Optimist

Zoo: No Hunting.

"Now that's what I'M talkin' 'bout!"

The deadly sport of cobra staring contests.

"Good news. It's a small pig."

"Exactly how undecided would you say you were at this precise moment?"

"Now you can send it."

"And once you've achieved your 25% improvement in client satisfaction surveys, we need you to solve the problem of global warming,third world poverty and cold toast."

Admissions test for the Danbury Institute of Philosophy

"I now pronounce you a partial place setting."

"But you can eat as much as you want from the tree of bullshit."

Fred's new phone plan included unlimited Dada.

"Leon, honey, you break all the rules of dramaturgy."

"And the Hungriest Black Hole there ever was ate everything in the entire universe and lived happily ever after."

The Ekert Saga: 'Ah, another week of school begins...might as well try to make the most of it!...You're crampin' my style, Ekert.'

"Valet park only"

"Could you tilt the Earth just a bit more away from the light?"

'It's in my belly-button if you must know!'