Digestive Aid Doubter T-Shirts

"All those in favor of adding another 5 billion organisms to our probiotic just for the fun of it..."

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

"I've been studying reverse psychology at Tonga Tech Online University."

Journey of a sandwich through the digestive system.

"How am I supposed to trust my gut when it can't even handle a little dairy?"

"May I remind you that I'm still in charge here, Baskin. And when I say, 'Jump,' you say, 'How many floors.'"

"Siri, are you out of your mind?!"

Door labelled: 'False Economy Analysis & Research.'

'Never, ever give the benefit of doubt to a Brussells sprout.'

"On a scale of one to ten. How happy would you say you are?"

'Carrot cake!.. What's next?.. Broccoli cake?'

'Is this a trick question?'

Santa's grotto advertising 'Talk to Santa', is next to a diet clinic with a sign in the window, 'Santa, talk to us.'

"No, I'm sorry Geoff. I still can't remember you ever having a six pack there."

"It's his body language. All I hear is snorting, burping, and ominous rumblings from his lower extremities."

'I've got acid indigestion.'

"This paleo diet is a lot of work. Maybe we should eat grains."

'Talk about perennial doubt?'

"I'm skipping straight to a second opinion, in the first one, I thought you were OK."

"Hmmm, not sure I trust that kale."

"Take two pills every four hours. Or, take four pills every two hours and get better even faster." What he thought he heard.

'Your problem is keeping things down. I want you to take this one pill four times a day.'

'If I knew what those trillions of bacteria wanted, I'd give it to them.'

'I'm off to see the gizzard.'

"I'm looking over you chart and I see you've gained 30 pounds. I thought you went on a diet!"

'When you told me to refuse second helpings you said nothing about third,fourth or fifth helpings.'

"Torture in Hell awaits those who question God's love!"

'Blindly following market trends generally works for me, but when it doesn't, I blame computer trading.'

'Social media? There's nothing social about it!'

"Perhaps we should stay home this evening."

"You wanted me to go to that small college..they've gone out of business, and me degree was recalled."