Dieting Optimizer Pillows

Overloaded on Junk Food.

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

Man Eating Minimalist Meal

"At first glance this diet might seem boring but then you realize there are actually seven varieties of kale!"

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

'That's what I thought, finances are tight: She's switched to no-name cat food...'

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

'As you're pregnant, I suppose you are eating for two? Or don't you want to cut down that much?'

Dieting Motivation.

"If we crunch the numbers, it should have zero calories."

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

"To lose weight they said I've just had to give up two things. . .food and drink!"

Miss Pike, send a memo to all members of staff.....Economies must be made.'

Woman weighing herself while holding balloons

'Please help mommy lose some weight. She gets grumpy when she's on a diet that's not working.'

"Double whammy. My weight now exceeds my credit score."

'I'll have one regular cheese-burger from column 'A', and one negative-calories cheese-burger from column 'B'.'

"I've tried 5 diets and haven't lost a pound. Maybe I shouldn't try them all at the same time."

Fat man on scales.

'The doctor said my body is 40% fat. These cookies are only 20% fat. That's got to help.'

'This high fiber diet is great! I've lost 10 pounds since I started eating my stuffing.'

"Remember, you're only as sick as you feel."

"I would kill for your metabolism."

Shrink

'I thought I told you to cut down on sugar.'

'He refuses to overeat and get plump. Do you think he knows something we don't?'

"My holy grail is low-fat, low-cal, high-taste."

'You are being haunted by the spirit of a slimmer, trimmer, you.'

'You have the body of a 22 year old man, providing your birthday is February 29th.'

"Cardiac day patients?"

'It says, 'If you want more fiber, eat the package.'

'The town I grew up in was so affluent they used to close the schools in honor of options expiration day.'