Diet Planner Pillows

'The nurse says I'm morbidly obese...So what are you going to do about it?'

'He refuses to overeat and get plump. Do you think he knows something we don't?'

You are what you eat.

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

'Like death by salad.'

"At first glance this diet might seem boring but then you realize there are actually seven varieties of kale!"

"Can Johnny come out and eat?"

'Men order. . . women shop.'

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

"Ok, ok, we'll travel back to dinnertime one more time, but then it's my turn to choose."

The ecumenical dinner party.

"I'm very health conscious. I only eat animals that are vegetarians"

'I'm saving some for leftovers tomorrow.'

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."

"Young man, the world is your oyster, but for God�s sake avoid peanuts, soy, milk, eggs, wheat, fish, tree nuts, and chocolate."

"That's the door to the gym, past all the snack machines."

'I'm in the mood to cook!'

'Before you order, perhaps you'd like to discuss your food issues with our eating therapist.'

"No dear- I said I was going to buy you a big PROPER TEA!"

A day at the FULL CIRCLE RANCH

"Cardiac day patients?"

"Ready to head back?"

"I can't remember if I'm off red meat, or eating nothing but red meat."

'That's our group plan.'

'I put an app on your computer to remove cookies and other thins slowing it down. It's like fiber for your computer.'

'The good news is that our latest diet products work fabulously well. The bad news is that we haven't got any customers any more!'

Roger wouldn't prepare any meal without first consulting his pie chart.

"Eating less and exercising more. . . It's the only thing that works but how can we monetise it?"

'There was a power failure today - we're having steak, fish, chicken, hamburger, turkey, and pork chops for dinner.'

Fruits and vegetables

'How many Breadsticks have you eaten?'

'His snacks and his meals are beginning to OVERLAP!'

'I've got three jobs and it works great! As a diet consultant, I help people who got fat from too much pizza and as a mechanic, I repair the cars I wrecked on my pizza delivery tours.'

'Fad diet. The weight will come right back.'

'It's okay - they're VITAMIN-ENRICHED chocolates!'