Diet Planner Pillows

'The nurse says I'm morbidly obese...So what are you going to do about it?'

'He refuses to overeat and get plump. Do you think he knows something we don't?'

You are what you eat.

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

School Cafeteria. It's the start of the school year. The Geometry teacher will come by to verify that we're serving truly square meals. The grammar teacher says the alphabet soup is runny and needs some punctuation added. History teachers keep a record of all the past meals and so will notice any leftovers being served. And the computer lab staff expressed concern about all the cookies so the astronomy teacher suggested switching to candy for dessert. I'll bet she thinks Starburst and Milk

'Like death by salad.'

"Can Johnny come out and eat?"

"At first glance this diet might seem boring but then you realize there are actually seven varieties of kale!"

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

'Men order. . . women shop.'

"Ok, ok, we'll travel back to dinnertime one more time, but then it's my turn to choose."

The ecumenical dinner party.

"I'm very health conscious. I only eat animals that are vegetarians"

"That's the door to the gym, past all the snack machines."

'I'm saving some for leftovers tomorrow.'

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."

"Young man, the world is your oyster, but for God�s sake avoid peanuts, soy, milk, eggs, wheat, fish, tree nuts, and chocolate."

'Before you order, perhaps you'd like to discuss your food issues with our eating therapist.'

"No dear- I said I was going to buy you a big PROPER TEA!"

'I'm in the mood to cook!'

A day at the FULL CIRCLE RANCH

"Cardiac day patients?"

"Ready to head back?"

"I can't remember if I'm off red meat, or eating nothing but red meat."

'That's our group plan.'

'The good news is that our latest diet products work fabulously well. The bad news is that we haven't got any customers any more!'

'I put an app on your computer to remove cookies and other thins slowing it down. It's like fiber for your computer.'

Fruits and vegetables

'There was a power failure today - we're having steak, fish, chicken, hamburger, turkey, and pork chops for dinner.'

'How many Breadsticks have you eaten?'

"What'll I eat, when you, are far away, and I am blue, what'll I eat?"

Roger wouldn't prepare any meal without first consulting his pie chart.

"Eating less and exercising more. . . It's the only thing that works but how can we monetise it?"

'His snacks and his meals are beginning to OVERLAP!'

'You know, they say that eating six small meals a day is healthier than eating two or three big meals.'