Dietary Requirement Juggler T-Shirts

Gluten Free, Wheat Free, Fat Free, Dairy Free, Soy Free, Sugar Free, Recyclable, Sustainable Cupcake

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

School. Report Card. You couldn't name the presidents and flunked history? Yeah -- It's not what you know, it's who you know.

'You earned this corner office by cutting corners...'

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

"Everything's gone up."

'You're reordering your priorities? -- Since when do you have priorities?'

'Cut down on sodium? I'm taking that with a pinch of salt.'

'As part of our alternative budget management strategy we've got Tim on 'Hail Marys' in here and Geoff sacrificing a goat to Woden next door!'

"Would you like something you're under qualified for, or something you're overqualified for?"

'Chocolate never tasted so good as when I sneak a piece while dieting.'

'The doctor said my body is 40% fat. These cookies are only 20% fat. That's got to help.'

"I'm putting myself through med school by waiting tables. I'll be back shortly to take your blood pressure."

'I need affordable daycare now!'

'If the universe and everything in it is expanding, how come our budget gets shrunk all the time?'

'The hospital needs to cut its drug budget...Mrs Miggins will be seeing what she can do for the Oncology department with hot twigs and frogspawn...'

'Yes, I think you better had ask Santa for it. Because there's no way I could afford to buy it.'

"Times are perfect for us masochists!..."

"Sorry, I'm late. I didn't realize how much credit you had on your card."

Heavy man wants the cake and Edith too.

'I'll have the diet special followed by a triple helping of chocolate sponge cake.'

'There's not much of an incentive after taxes.'

Chocolate Munchies. Only 100 calories...' awesome!' - '' - 'Runchy! Rurrgh!!' - '' - 'Oh, hold on. 100 calories per Munchie' - '' -

"You can eat all the cake you want and still get into heaven."

"Sometimes I get the crazy feeling that he blames us for the budget overrun."

'I know the marketing budget is stretched...but I still think we need professional models!'

'Of course they're not working. You're not supposed to have appetite suppressants for dessert.'

"Doctor, before we start you've got to promise me that I don't have to give up anything."

Principal with 'budget cuts' in-tray and 'creative solutions' out-tray.

'On my salary, microeconomics is all I can afford.'

Round the Clock

'Am I an additional cost or an incidental expense?'

'God, I hate Sunday mornings.'

SOARING BILL

"Bad case of 'Swivel Neck' comes from trying to watch too many games at the same time!"