Dietary Health Pillows

"You're prediabetic. I can't help you unless you decide to eat less sugar - or more sugar."

'Mum, it's not fair: The principal said I was not allowed to take nuts to school anymore...'

Bernice prepares her pantry for gluten-free cooking

"What? I have a nut allergy."

"How am I supposed to trust my gut when it can't even handle a little dairy?"

'I'll leave out the wing of bat . . . gives me the S**ts!'

Passive Eating

"Good For You / Bad For You"

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."

"States of tofu"

"I'm not having it if it's been genetically modified."

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

"Where do we put Desserts?"

But is it organic?

Soup of the month.

Be Healthy

"Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Finally, I cracked."

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

'Like death by salad.'

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

"First Lady Lettuce goes missing, then Colonel Crouton followed by Reginald Radish... Great Caesar's Ghost! Someone is making a salad!"

'I never should have ordered the diet platter.'

Studies show foods work miracles!

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

How about going easy on the carbs

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

Advocado

'I'm worried about him, he eats his vegetables, but not his dessert!'

"I haven't started playing the violin. I hide my vegetables in here!"

"Ten Dollars?! I can't eat that." Bob was on a strict low-cost diet.

The Jolly Green Giant Squid

The Gospel According To Jane Brody"Orange, come in. Apple, come in. Hey you, frankfurter, hold it right there."