Dietary Health Pillows

"You're prediabetic. I can't help you unless you decide to eat less sugar - or more sugar."

'Mum, it's not fair: The principal said I was not allowed to take nuts to school anymore...'

Bernice prepares her pantry for gluten-free cooking

"What? I have a nut allergy."

"How am I supposed to trust my gut when it can't even handle a little dairy?"

'I'll leave out the wing of bat . . . gives me the S**ts!'

Passive Eating

"Er, um, no thanks. We're both lactose intolerant."

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"Good For You / Bad For You"

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

"States of tofu"

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."

"I'm not having it if it's been genetically modified."

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

'If he grabs the broccoli, we turn on the Raffi tunes. If he heads towards the Playstation, he hit him with the air horn at 100db.'

"Where do we put Desserts?"

Soup of the month.

Be Healthy

But is it organic?

"Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Finally, I cracked."

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

'Like death by salad.'

"First Lady Lettuce goes missing, then Colonel Crouton followed by Reginald Radish... Great Caesar's Ghost! Someone is making a salad!"

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

'I never should have ordered the diet platter.'

Don't mind us. We're just trying to eat more locally grown food.

Studies show foods work miracles!

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

How about going easy on the carbs

"I haven't started playing the violin. I hide my vegetables in here!"

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

Advocado