Dietary Pillows

What They Believe In

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

In the Guru District

"Good For You / Bad For You"

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

Any time is cake o'clock

'Now that I've lost weight, I can't afford new clothes in my size.'

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

"Where do we put Desserts?"

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

On the back of the t-shirt...

Soup of the month.

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

'Not that sort of body building program!'

"Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Finally, I cracked."

Bad for you but to die for

Newton discovers gravity and apple sauce in the same day.

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

Always empty your fridge before starting a diet.

"Winter is coming, and there will be months without much sunshine, so it's important that you take your vitamin D supplement Darling..."

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

'I never should have ordered the diet platter.'

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

"No. I can't 'let it out a bit'. It's armour, you'll just have to go on a diet!"

'Eat less. Drink less. Be merry more.'

'I feel like exercising. Have you seen my tennis shoes?'