Dietary Discovery Enthusiasts Pillows

"So, when will you start telling us about good vs bad cholesterol?"

"That's it young man. . . No more energy drinks for you!"

All Natural Nothing

Doctor to man with 'Push' door on mouth: 'It looks as though you've been eating a lot of junk food lately.'

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

'Trouble is they always forget to return them...'

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

Anti-inflammation recipes

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

"I'm not sure what's causing your stomachache. But I think it's safe to rule out hunger pains."

'Who cares about content? With a title like this it'll sell millions!'

International House of Excrement

'Apparently the nutrients and the additives cancel each other out.'

'New Barbeque.'

'I'm sorry but I have to let you go, we're all drinking 2%.'

"Young man, the world is your oyster, but for God�s sake avoid peanuts, soy, milk, eggs, wheat, fish, tree nuts, and chocolate."

'Frank, leak to the tabloids that these slow moving broccoli flakes cure cancer.'

The date was going well. She was better looking, but he was about to gain the nutritional edge.

Vegan Restaurant: ''amburgers! Sausages! RISSOLES!'

'Did you fart, sweetie?'

"My incentive for losing weight? I bought a fitted sheet a size to small."

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."

'However hard I try to lose weight, it always finds me again.'

"I'm not a total vegetarian, sometimes I like a bit of buffalo."

Gastroenterology - Pull Finger For Service.

'The Ailing Matisse tries cutting out meat and dairy products.'

Nutritional Supplements.

I can't decide what to read, Gourmet or Weight Watchers.

"Whatever diet they're on, tell them what they ordered is PERFECT for them."

Good cholesterol cop, bad cholesterol cop. Rice cake? Eat the donut punk.

'Advanced warning: High cholesterol 10mtrs ahead.'

"It would be better with a protein, but add-ons are so expensive."