Dietary Discovery Enthusiasts Pillows

"So, when will you start telling us about good vs bad cholesterol?"

All Natural Nothing

"That's it young man. . . No more energy drinks for you!"

Doctor to man with 'Push' door on mouth: 'It looks as though you've been eating a lot of junk food lately.'

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

'Trouble is they always forget to return them...'

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

Anti-inflammation recipes

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

"I'm not sure what's causing your stomachache. But I think it's safe to rule out hunger pains."

'Who cares about content? With a title like this it'll sell millions!'

International House of Excrement

"I'm not a total vegetarian, sometimes I like a bit of buffalo."

"My incentive for losing weight? I bought a fitted sheet a size to small."

'I'm sorry but I have to let you go, we're all drinking 2%.'

Vegan Restaurant: ''amburgers! Sausages! RISSOLES!'

The date was going well. She was better looking, but he was about to gain the nutritional edge.

'Did you fart, sweetie?'

'Frank, leak to the tabloids that these slow moving broccoli flakes cure cancer.'

'New Barbeque.'

"Young man, the world is your oyster, but for God�s sake avoid peanuts, soy, milk, eggs, wheat, fish, tree nuts, and chocolate."

'Apparently the nutrients and the additives cancel each other out.'

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."

'However hard I try to lose weight, it always finds me again.'

Nutritional Supplements.

'The Ailing Matisse tries cutting out meat and dairy products.'

'Advanced warning: High cholesterol 10mtrs ahead.'

Aiiiii! Fat! Cholesterol! Food!

"It would be better with a protein, but add-ons are so expensive."

"Whatever diet they're on, tell them what they ordered is PERFECT for them."