Dietary Decoder Pillows

Mixed marriage: food fight

"The data looks good, sir, but the vibes are mucho heavioso."

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

'Like death by salad.'

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

"That's it young man. . . No more energy drinks for you!"

Secretive Weigh In.

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

Critisize your weight.

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

'This towel is wet so I'll subtract fourteen pounds.'

'You might show a little excitement at the figures, Johnson!'

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

"Just so I’m understanding the menu, the ‘Old Forge wheel with rosemary-infused pancetta’ is essentially a $36 Hot Pocket?"

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

'Ugh, I hate food with preservatives.'

'Diet considerations.'

'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'

DIY horror.

"Give me your metabolism! Now!"

'Stocks shot up. . . no one on the committee could understand a word that Bernanke was saying.'

"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"

"I'm not sure what's causing your stomachache. But I think it's safe to rule out hunger pains."

'I'm putting you on a 'whatever tastes good, don't eat it' diet.'

'Physical or Social Science?'

Diets: Sweets and Biscuits.

'Where do you want to go for breakfast, fancy an Australian or do you want to nip over to Hawaii?'

'I sense this may not be a one-way journey.'

'Come on, eat your spinach.' -' Sorry, I'm on a special diet...No toxic waste.'

Mind, Body, Spirit (and Food Court).

Diet Books: Fiction/Non-Fiction