Dietary Decoder Pillows

Mixed marriage: food fight

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

'Like death by salad.'

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

Critisize your weight.

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

Secretive Weigh In.

"That's it young man. . . No more energy drinks for you!"

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

'This towel is wet so I'll subtract fourteen pounds.'

'You might show a little excitement at the figures, Johnson!'

'Diet considerations.'

'Ugh, I hate food with preservatives.'

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

"Just so I’m understanding the menu, the ‘Old Forge wheel with rosemary-infused pancetta’ is essentially a $36 Hot Pocket?"

'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

DIY horror.

"Give me your metabolism! Now!"

"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"

"I'm not sure what's causing your stomachache. But I think it's safe to rule out hunger pains."

'I'm putting you on a 'whatever tastes good, don't eat it' diet.'

'Physical or Social Science?'

Diets: Sweets and Biscuits.

'Come on, eat your spinach.' -' Sorry, I'm on a special diet...No toxic waste.'

Attack of the 'health' foods

Weight Loss Counselor, out for a 400 calorie lunch.

Diet Books: Fiction/Non-Fiction

'I sense this may not be a one-way journey.'

"How would you like your soy protein, mixed tocopherols and methylcellulose patty?"