Diet Skeptics Pillows

It was the health benefits that got me started on red wine.

'The Werewolf Diet? It's great: you can eat anything you want, but only during the full moon.'

'The start of the Premiership and the return of Match of the Day - there goes his Aitkins diet....'

"This paleo diet is a lot of work. Maybe we should eat grains."

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

'I'm trying a beer diet: lager for breakfast, bock for lunch, and IPA for dinner. So far, I'm losing 2 days per week.'

'This is from our diet menu. We replaced the starchy bun with two deep fried fish filets!'

"You don't tip them you bribe them!"

Heavy man sees 'Comfort Food' aisle

"Daddy, you have to flatten this curve."

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

'Well, this is a first †he's got repetitive motion syndrome from eating!'

I read an article about the health benefits of dark chocolate so I make sure all the donuts I eat are covered with dark chocolate.

'Cut down on sodium? I'm taking that with a pinch of salt.'

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

Fishing rod coming out of a health farm towards a hot dog stand.

Now all meals contain 'Enzymate' for fast digestion.'

Eureka! This has telemarketing sale of a diet supplement written all over it.

'The doctor said my body is 40% fat. These cookies are only 20% fat. That's got to help.'

New anti-obesity cookbook.

Milk Toast: One of the World's Most Deadly Foods!

Error in low-fat pizza design.

'It says all the chemical ingredients in this food were made by organic, free range scientists.'

'What kind of quack is he? No pills, no special diets! He just believes in will power!'

Complex Carbs

"Management would like you to keep in mind that the latest research indicates that everything on our 'Healthy Menu' is now unhealthy."

'Let me introduce my biggest supporter, a real whale of a guy, a huge fan..'

Lite Beer.

'What a relief to find out that fewer calories don't add up to longevity.'

"Oh, I do a little grass on occasion, but I avoid the heavy cruciferous greens."

'Do you want flies with that?'

Energy Drinks

"I don’t care what you read on social media, I cannot prescribe chocolate mini eggs to help with your weight loss!"

'Another upsetting discovery from the world of nutrition: New studies indicate that the air itself is fattening...'

The meat's fine,it's just the milk tastes of gherkins.