Diet Culture Skeptic Pillows

Light Distilled Water

Heavy man sees 'Comfort Food' aisle

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

'Amazing! We truly do live in a classless society.'

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

I read an article about the health benefits of dark chocolate so I make sure all the donuts I eat are covered with dark chocolate.

'And a special feature on this model is the diet ice cubes.'

'Cut down on sodium? I'm taking that with a pinch of salt.'

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

'The Werewolf Diet? It's great: you can eat anything you want, but only during the full moon.'

'Your Majesty, the peasants are out of bread', 'Then let them eat low-carb stuff,'

New anti-obesity cookbook.

'The doctor said my body is 40% fat. These cookies are only 20% fat. That's got to help.'

Error in low-fat pizza design.

'What kind of quack is he? No pills, no special diets! He just believes in will power!'

'Let me introduce my biggest supporter, a real whale of a guy, a huge fan..'

'What a relief to find out that fewer calories don't add up to longevity.'

'He wanted to know if anyone had ever brought out a keep-fat video.'

Lite Beer.

Cook for 3 minutes stir, wait 30 years to discover if the contaminated ingredient gives you stomach cancer.

"I don’t care what you read on social media, I cannot prescribe chocolate mini eggs to help with your weight loss!"

Health Foods; "When did I ever eat back pain and trigger fingers?"

'Calorie averaging...with the oven-fresh trip-el burger, you get...one French fry.'

'What you need is some negative growth.'

'She was always very proud of her figure.'

'My regular slimming magazine seems to be getting thinner.'

'Not another Doctor Who spin off!?'

'The start of the Premiership and the return of Match of the Day - there goes his Aitkins diet....'

'I'm going to start you off with a simple diet -- don't eat anything you can't pronounce.'

'Just thinking about New Year's resolutions makes me tired.'

"I'm looking for a diet that will guarantee my boss will gain the weight I lose.."

'I don't think cholesterol had been invented then.'

"My new health plan only allows in network complaining."

'I'm not eating it, not if it's been genetically modified.'

'I'm trying a beer diet: lager for breakfast, bock for lunch, and IPA for dinner. So far, I'm losing 2 days per week.'