Diet Pill Critic Pillows

"These diet pills must work. My purse is getting thinner and thinner."

"Quick! Act like we just developed a drug that they can sell for seven thousand dollars a pill."

'Amazing! We truly do live in a classless society.'

'And a special feature on this model is the diet ice cubes.'

'What I call a miracle drug is one that doesn't start a government investigation.'

These drug will cost you an arm and a leg...the good news is, my wife and I own stock in the company that makes them.

Man sees hug capsules: 'Not to be taken Orally.'

Funny, this is the same pill the head of the price-gouging drug company needs to take so he can sleep at night, too. Pharmac …

'Too much Omega 3.'

Eureka! This has telemarketing sale of a diet supplement written all over it.

Sawdust.

"At this point, we know it's addictive."

Drinks for the post-caffeinated economy

Prescription Drugs '96.

"Good news - we're merging with Pinetree Pharma. They make the cures for all the harm our drugs do."

'Your Majesty, the peasants are out of bread', 'Then let them eat low-carb stuff,'

'Human clinical trials start in six months. Sooner if we run out of mice.'

'The problem is that you're overmedicated. Luckily there are drugs that can help with that.'

"Stuffing your face while watching TV does cause obesity."

'Generics of generics - that's the way we'll go.'

'First of all, I'm taking you off the iron supplements.'

"I can guarantee on this diet you'll lose at least 50 pounds a month, until you cancel your standing order!"

Toilet roll beauty tips.

"You may believe you've been overcharged, but, remember, you're overmedicated."

Cook for 3 minutes stir, wait 30 years to discover if the contaminated ingredient gives you stomach cancer.

"It's the same experimental drug but now it's in a cupcake."

'She was always very proud of her figure.'

'My regular slimming magazine seems to be getting thinner.'

Turn on the news. I will not comply. My analysis of your viewing patterns has determined you will grow depressed after the lead story. There is a 95% probability you will then gorge yourself on Rocky Road ice cream and then stay up all night googling elliptical machines and diet pills. Who told you this? Both your refrigerator and your browser are gossipy.

"This will buy you four months.

"It's extremely rare for anyone to suffer side effects from health supplements Mr Baxter. Just how much cod liver oil have you been taking?"

'Will this make me feel as happy as the people in the commercial?'

'You're taking too much of that clamshell calcium, Margaret.'

'I take it this wasn't quite the outcome you were expecting from your 'spot reduction diet'?'

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