Diet Industry Critic Pillows

"This says I will lose 4 times the fat. Do you know what that means?!"

"What do you have in the way of fat burners."

'Amazing! We truly do live in a classless society.'

'And a special feature on this model is the diet ice cubes.'

Sawdust.

'Your Majesty, the peasants are out of bread', 'Then let them eat low-carb stuff,'

"Stuffing your face while watching TV does cause obesity."

'He wanted to know if anyone had ever brought out a keep-fat video.'

Toilet roll beauty tips.

"I can guarantee on this diet you'll lose at least 50 pounds a month, until you cancel your standing order!"

Cook for 3 minutes stir, wait 30 years to discover if the contaminated ingredient gives you stomach cancer.

"It's a game changer. . . carrots and hummous batons but we've managed to make them out of sugar."

See, Peanut? I told you that 'Melt in your mouth, not in your hand' line would get you in trouble someday!

'She was always very proud of her figure.'

'My regular slimming magazine seems to be getting thinner.'

'I take it this wasn't quite the outcome you were expecting from your 'spot reduction diet'?'

'I'm going to start you off with a simple diet -- don't eat anything you can't pronounce.'

'I don't think cholesterol had been invented then.'

'Does this fig leaf make me look fat?'

"These diet pills must work. My purse is getting thinner and thinner."

"Your mother eats all the wrong foods."

"IT's a radical new diet I'm developing. I knock out all your teeth so you can't eat and therefore you lose weight."

'The dietary exchange for this food is 3 days of unrelenting remorse.'

'I suggest you go easy on the fast food.'

'Careful, don't bite off more than you can chew.'

Chihuahua says to large dog: 'I'm on a diet - I want to be a size zero.'

'You get the diet book which you won't read, the exercise bar which you won't use and the workout CD which you won't watch, for only $29.99.'

'Y'know, this healthy grown up cereal is pretty good.'

"He's on the paleo diet."

'It's finally happened - no fats, no sugar, no colouring, no ingredients whatsoever!'

'These pills are out BEST sellers. I guarantee you'll lose 50 pounds as soon as you pay me.'

'What about my grandfather then... He ate whatever he liked and still lived to be 38!'

"Eat your predigested greens."

'Ew! It's got FAT on it.'