Diet Journey Enthusiast Pillows

Weight watchers 'Gone for low-calorie lunch'.

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

"I envy you, but my dietary requirements make it difficult for me to travel..."

All Natural Nothing

Man Eating Minimalist Meal

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

Doctor to man with 'Push' door on mouth: 'It looks as though you've been eating a lot of junk food lately.'

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

'As you're pregnant, I suppose you are eating for two? Or don't you want to cut down that much?'

'Trouble is they always forget to return them...'

'Is your cabbage diet working darling?'

"To lose weight they said I've just had to give up two things. . .food and drink!"

Anti-inflammation recipes

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

International House of Excrement

"Double whammy. My weight now exceeds my credit score."

'I'm sorry but I have to let you go, we're all drinking 2%.'

'However hard I try to lose weight, it always finds me again.'

'New Barbeque.'

"My incentive for losing weight? I bought a fitted sheet a size to small."

'Did you fart, sweetie?'

'I can't see my nuts anymore.'

Fat man on scales.

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."

Gastroenterology - Pull Finger For Service.

'The Ailing Matisse tries cutting out meat and dairy products.'

'This high fiber diet is great! I've lost 10 pounds since I started eating my stuffing.'

'Advanced warning: High cholesterol 10mtrs ahead.'

'Id like to see you in two weeks. Try not to eat during that time.'

"My holy grail is low-fat, low-cal, high-taste."

Odd Spas

"I would kill for your metabolism."

Good cholesterol cop, bad cholesterol cop. Rice cake? Eat the donut punk.

'I thought I told you to cut down on sugar.'