Diet Geek Pillows

"Your diet's fine, but maybe cut back on the seeds."

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

"Where do we put Desserts?"

'Not that sort of body building program!'

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

'Like death by salad.'

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

Secretive Weigh In.

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

Critisize your weight.

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

"That's it young man. . . No more energy drinks for you!"

"His mother had a great influence on him. She always made him eat his fruits and vegetables."

All Natural Nothing

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

'Is this still America?'

Doctor to man with 'Push' door on mouth: 'It looks as though you've been eating a lot of junk food lately.'

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

'Trouble is they always forget to return them...'

"Well, son. . . here your dad makes the famous 'fresh from nature' food!"

Healthy living has added years to Melvin's life.

The new diet not working out too good, huh, Frank?

'This towel is wet so I'll subtract fourteen pounds.'

I read an article about the health benefits of dark chocolate so I make sure all the donuts I eat are covered with dark chocolate.

"I think the 'Exotic Recipe' diet will make me lose weight. I'm running all over town trying to find the ingredients!"

Mom? Eco club is starting a campaign to eat local food. Good idea. Would you please pack me a lunch from organic stuff grown near here? Ok. I'm sure we have something. Thanks! Oh, boy. A beet sandwich.

'If you order...You can digest it in...'

'Diet considerations.'

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'

"Here's to wellness—women's wellness!"