Diet Geek Pillows

"Your diet's fine, but maybe cut back on the seeds."

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

"Where do we put Desserts?"

'Not that sort of body building program!'

'Like death by salad.'

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

"His mother had a great influence on him. She always made him eat his fruits and vegetables."

All Natural Nothing

"That's it young man. . . No more energy drinks for you!"

Secretive Weigh In.

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

Critisize your weight.

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

Doctor to man with 'Push' door on mouth: 'It looks as though you've been eating a lot of junk food lately.'

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

'Is this still America?'

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

'Trouble is they always forget to return them...'

"Well, son. . . here your dad makes the famous 'fresh from nature' food!"

The new diet not working out too good, huh, Frank?

Healthy living has added years to Melvin's life.

'This towel is wet so I'll subtract fourteen pounds.'

I read an article about the health benefits of dark chocolate so I make sure all the donuts I eat are covered with dark chocolate.

"I think the 'Exotic Recipe' diet will make me lose weight. I'm running all over town trying to find the ingredients!"

'If you order...You can digest it in...'

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

'Diet considerations.'

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

"Here's to wellness—women's wellness!"

'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'