Diet Dilemma Detective Pillows

'I'm trying to lose weight. How much does underwear weigh?'

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

'Like death by salad.'

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

Critisize your weight.

Secretive Weigh In.

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

"At first glance this diet might seem boring but then you realize there are actually seven varieties of kale!"

"That's it young man. . . No more energy drinks for you!"

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

'Perhaps sir would like the dessert menu?'

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

"Each order comes with 10 minutes of free guilt counseling."

"Statins. I got statins. Who needs statins?"

'This towel is wet so I'll subtract fourteen pounds.'

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

'Diet considerations.'

'Ugh, I hate food with preservatives.'

"I'm retaining doughnuts."

'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'

"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"

'I'm putting you on a 'whatever tastes good, don't eat it' diet.'

"I'm not sure what's causing your stomachache. But I think it's safe to rule out hunger pains."

Diets: Sweets and Biscuits.

Mind, Body, Spirit (and Food Court).

'Come on, eat your spinach.' -' Sorry, I'm on a special diet...No toxic waste.'

'Apparently the nutrients and the additives cancel each other out.'

Weight Loss Counselor, out for a 400 calorie lunch.

Diet Books: Fiction/Non-Fiction

Attack of the 'health' foods

'Where do you want to go for breakfast, fancy an Australian or do you want to nip over to Hawaii?'

"Frankly, dear, I think you've been on this paleo diet much too long!"