Diet Design Enthusiast T-Shirts

'You're fat. I'm putting you on a diet.'

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

'It's perfectly normal for middle-aged men to put on a little weight.'

"Can Johnny come out and eat?"

All Natural Nothing

Man Eating Minimalist Meal

Doctor to man with 'Push' door on mouth: 'It looks as though you've been eating a lot of junk food lately.'

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

'Trouble is they always forget to return them...'

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

'As you're pregnant, I suppose you are eating for two? Or don't you want to cut down that much?'

"To lose weight they said I've just had to give up two things. . .food and drink!"

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

"Double whammy. My weight now exceeds my credit score."

Diet Books: Fiction/Non-Fiction

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."

"My incentive for losing weight? I bought a fitted sheet a size to small."

Fat man on scales.

'Did you fart, sweetie?'

'I'm sorry but I have to let you go, we're all drinking 2%.'

'However hard I try to lose weight, it always finds me again.'

'This high fiber diet is great! I've lost 10 pounds since I started eating my stuffing.'

"Excuse me, Father...is the host gluten-free?"

I don't know about you, but I'm getting tired of fast food.'

'I thought I told you to cut down on sugar.'

"My holy grail is low-fat, low-cal, high-taste."

'Id like to see you in two weeks. Try not to eat during that time.'

"I would kill for your metabolism."

'It says, 'If you want more fiber, eat the package.'

'If I'm reading this chart correctly, your LDL is ranch dressing'.

'I know dieting requires a change of lifestyle, Helen, but this is ridiculous!'