Diet Connoisseur T-Shirts

'This 'manna' stuff You're sending -- is it low-carb?'

'It looks like bacon and eggs, but it's 100% bran.'

'I am not saying you have to give up all sea food...just shrimp!'

I don't know about you, but I'm getting tired of fast food.'

'Look! I told you, I don't wanna hear about your staple diet. . .'

'I'm on a diet -- I just eat the brains.'

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

Counting ribs

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

'It's perfectly normal for middle-aged men to put on a little weight.'

A Sticky Buns Bakery is positioned next to a gym.

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"I come here for the pepper."

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

All Natural Nothing

Full English Breakfast.

Doctor to man with 'Push' door on mouth: 'It looks as though you've been eating a lot of junk food lately.'

'Pigs feet, sir?' 'Are they pickled?'

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

A burgandy from when the dow hit a record high.

'Trouble is they always forget to return them...'

Enjoying a picnic at the rugby ground

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

"Regular service or affected?"

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

"Your mother texted us that you're not getting enough to eat, so I brought you twice what you ordered."

this bordeaux speaks for itself

'Do I really have to remind you again about which one of us earns the truffles, Jean-Claude?'

"I think I'll have the fish. No, wait... yes, the fish." "So many choices... what is a Reuben? Never mind, I'll have the fish, too." "I always get the same thing, but it's so good. Alright, I'll have the fish."

"May I take your plate or are you still nibbling?"