Diet Breaker Pillows

Bake Shop / Crack Co-cake $10.

'Hello, yes, I'd like to order 200 packs of the sweets you can eat between meals.'

"I thought we agreed no midnight snacks?"

"You can stop pulling, you knucklehead—I took your leash off ten minutes ago."

'Perhaps sir would like the dessert menu?'

'He's finally done it - kicked breakfast TV!'

"I'm a monster."

'It's not my fault that I've developed habits that cannot be sustained.'

'Man, I've bought heaps on my credit card this month...It always amazes me...How many things I'd rather have than money.'

"I AM following doctor's orders. He told me to cut back to one cup a day...right?!"

"Why are we eating all this fattening stuff? Pier pressure."

"Dear Diary... I've stopped smoking, and I'm sticking to my diet."

"I told you to stop biting your nails."

'I see you've managed to cut your coffee consumption in half.'

'Doctor, the patient would like to know when he can return to being an overbearing, stressed-out pig?'

"I'll kill you if you crack your knuckles again."

'So, how did the crash diet go?'

'The nicotine patch should get you off the nicotine gum.'

'I finally kicked the fire breathing habit, now I'm stuck on mints and I'm gaining weight.'

"I got whiplash when I recoiled from your quote."

"Sealed for your diets protection."

Santa's grotto advertising 'Talk to Santa', is next to a diet clinic with a sign in the window, 'Santa, talk to us.'

"It might taste a little different. It's gluten-free slop."

Rodin's Nailbiter.

'OK, I see you've worked as a driving instructor for the past 23 years.'

Talking about smoking to a therapist who is a smoker.

"Baldo, why are you eating dessert first?"

"I tried change, it didn't work."

"Looks like the universe isn't the only thing that' s expanding!"

'I excuse my weight by saying I'm eating for three. Unfortunately, the twins were born months ago.'

'Ten patches! That is the worse smoking habit I ever seen!'

Parents happy that student has dropped out of university.

The trouble with trying to quit smoking.

"I want you to decrease your salt intake and increase your pepper intake."