Devoted Spouse Pillows

"Some people say you can't put a price on a wife's twenty-seven years of loyalty and devotion. They're wrong."

'But you know I don't have brand loyalty for anyone but you!'

"... And bless my dog, Penny, whose licks give me the strength to carry on."

"Seminary didn't prepare me for this."

You're the olive in my martini

Unconditional Loveseat

Behind Every Stupid Man

Industry and Idleness - The industrious apprentice a favourite, and entrusted by his master.

Jesus is Scourged (The Holy Bible).

I am your BIGGEST fan!

Valentines

"I want to quit, spend more time with my family, finish grade 3....."

Work Life Balance

"'Best wishes'? That's it? That's all you got?!"

"It's childhood. Your child has childhood."

'His wife is very supportive.'

Scared husband needs to have scans done in children's exam room.

'Swear on your unpublished novels that you will support each other's ridiculous dreams.'

"Seminary didn't prepare me for this."

'Sorry. Your accident insurance doesn't cover that kind of incident.'

"My parents are members of a tiny cult that worships me."

Sir Edmund Hillary Arriving Home To His Third Floor Apartment

"Visiting hours are over, Mrs. Glenborn."

"Ten commandments and the periodic table – all we have to know."

'Now that's devotion. Two broken arms and still working.'

"Michael, were you listening? Same question."

The Pope's bags getting carried by an angel.

I work too hard, I need a change, more time to spend with the children...by the way how many have we got?

Snowman about melting snowman: 'Just once I'd like to meet someone who isn't a fair weather friend.'

Zeal.

Without you I'm Blue.

Mother's Day

'Congratulations Perkins! Always first arrived and last to leave. You're on your way to the top.'

"I like being a kid - it's the ultimate entitlement program."