Devious Foodie T-Shirts

"Pecan pie with rum-raisin ice cream is the best revenge."

Elfian lady grilling on mushroom: 'Summertime in the Enchanted Forest'.

"And then, when I feel like a rum punch and breaded shrimp, I can just swim to Tony’s Trattoria."

Kiddies Menu for Witches

The candy house, if the tale of Hansel and Gretel would happen today.

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

"It's been redacted to produce our sauces."

Pizza with Extra Extra Cheese.

GM Crops Genie.

Hell's Kitchen specials: Lawyer thermador, barrister kabobs, litigator flambe, attorney tartare.

Horse meat scandal.

"Your chocolate biscuits and cakes are getting smaller - and where's your sweets aisle?"

'The stuff legends are made of'

'It's topped with things I found under my sofa cushions.'

"Try and push the eye of newt and wing of bat casserole."

"All I've got left is smoked."

'Uh yeah, it's supposed to be like that... it's a... it's a new invention.'

'What wine goes well with red meat?'

The big break in the case of the missing French Fries: 'But just to make sure, can you have each of them squawk.'

'Police. We have reason to believe you've been hacking into your neighbor's computers and stealing their recipes.'

"What were you expecting?"

'Hell's Kitchen/God's Pantry'

"When you came down for a snack last night, did you see a plate of dog food in here?"

'Well, she ate the apple -- I SAID you should have the whole thing catered.'

The Diet Fairy is here to grant you three dishes. . . as long as they're under 350 calories each.

'It tastes like California condor, but it has the consistency of bald eagle.'

'You might try the chef's surprise, if you're a real daredevil.'

When seasons collide

I know you wanted a virgin but it's all I could find at this time on a Friday night.