Devilishly Good Foodie T-Shirts

'It's my day off.'

Domestic Goddess.

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

"The bagels are better in New York."

"I can assure you ladies all our eggs come from free range chickens."

"...And would sir care to kill the rabbit himself?"

'Therapy?'

"I know, boy—I miss the smoked salmon at Zabar's, too."

"Waiter, can you find out if this hair in my arugula salad is locally harvested?"

"Smoked salmon, sir?" "I prefer to eat it, thanks."

"The wings are addictive."

Hell's Kitchen specials: Lawyer thermador, barrister kabobs, litigator flambe, attorney tartare.

'I'll have the Chairman-of-the-board Lunch, and Dexter here will have the Sissy's Salad.'

It's National Pie Day! Let's celebrate.

'Red or white wine with fish?' 'They're dead. They don't care.'

'I enjoyed the deviled ham, the deviled eggs and the devil's food cake, but we need a menu more in tune with our mission.'

'Have you noticed how portions are getting bigger?'

“Here’s to the 240 bucks we’re paying the sitter.”

"If I'd wanted a Picasso I'd have gone to an art gallery, wouldn't I?"

"This is a self-service diner. I cook the meals and I eat them myself."

"Pecan pie with rum-raisin ice cream is the best revenge."

"Yes, you could have cooked it, but you didn't."

this place got five stars for its fresh food

Master Chef

Chicken A La King

"What were you expecting?"

"The special tonight is Steak Teriyaki, which is seared, cubed, and expertly tossed into your mouth.”

'Well, she ate the apple -- I SAID you should have the whole thing catered.'

Noah Cappe - Host of Carnival Eats

'Hell's Kitchen/God's Pantry'

"I don't like the food here, but the photos I paot make my friends envious."

'Resveratrol? Flavonoids? Phenolic compounds? Whatever happened to asking about the grape type and origin?'

This is a classic dish, that I've pulled apart, then reconstructed.