Devilishly Good Foodie Gifts

'It's my day off.'

Domestic Goddess.

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

"The bagels are better in New York."

"I can assure you ladies all our eggs come from free range chickens."

"...And would sir care to kill the rabbit himself?"

'Therapy?'

"I know, boy—I miss the smoked salmon at Zabar's, too."

"Smoked salmon, sir?" "I prefer to eat it, thanks."

"Waiter, can you find out if this hair in my arugula salad is locally harvested?"

"The wings are addictive."

'All You Can Eat Wings.'

Hell's Kitchen specials: Lawyer thermador, barrister kabobs, litigator flambe, attorney tartare.

It's National Pie Day! Let's celebrate.

'I'll have the Chairman-of-the-board Lunch, and Dexter here will have the Sissy's Salad.'

'Red or white wine with fish?' 'They're dead. They don't care.'

'I enjoyed the deviled ham, the deviled eggs and the devil's food cake, but we need a menu more in tune with our mission.'

'Have you noticed how portions are getting bigger?'

"If I'd wanted a Picasso I'd have gone to an art gallery, wouldn't I?"

"Yes, you could have cooked it, but you didn't."

"This is a self-service diner. I cook the meals and I eat them myself."

“Here’s to the 240 bucks we’re paying the sitter.”

"Pecan pie with rum-raisin ice cream is the best revenge."

"The special tonight is Steak Teriyaki, which is seared, cubed, and expertly tossed into your mouth.”

'Hell's Kitchen/God's Pantry'

"What were you expecting?"

this place got five stars for its fresh food

Noah Cappe - Host of Carnival Eats

'Well, she ate the apple -- I SAID you should have the whole thing catered.'

Chicken A La King

Master Chef

"I don't like the food here, but the photos I paot make my friends envious."

This is a classic dish, that I've pulled apart, then reconstructed.