Devilishly Funny Reader Mugs

"Fallen angel" - A memoir: signing today

'Alright, which one of you wise guys pulled the fire alarm?'

"Any references?"

'Remember that outfit, Miss Wilson, that you said you wouldn't be seen dead wearing?'

"It only made sense for us to finally merge."

Going Down?

'I today's market news, Greed roared back.'

'The problem is you're a perfectionist. You don't always have to be totally evil. Sometimes it's OK to just be annoying.'

"I'm enjoying law school but I don't want to be known as the attorney from hell."

Hellbillies.

Bat out of Hell

'Sir, we're just not reaching them. Only a small percentage of people own vinyl records, and hardly anyone thinks to play them backwards.'

Heaven and Hell

'Be careful. The plate is hot!'

Gas Bill

"Okay, come at me in a conga line."

'You have the right to refuse the body scanner, but then I'll have to pat you down.'

"I don't wanna 'adult' today."

Publish and Be Damned

'Please feel free to take me out of context.'

'You were supposed to place it in a cool spot, sir.'

A Heated Argument

'I've been married to your sister for 9 years, so why should I be scared of you?'

'Mum said I take after your side of the family, Dad!'

"Cultural diversity is all very well, but our immigration officers don't have to put up with their bloody harp picking 24 hours a day!"

"We sell beer, but it's non-alcoholic."

The Neighbours from Hell....

The lessor of two evils.

'Okay, buddy, where's the fire?'

"As you can see, this front will continue for quite some time."

'This is why I had to pad my resume.'

'Of course you've got a grumbling wife who is an organized labour and who works for the SEC. Where do you think you are, man?'

Summer in Hell

"It's talk like a pirate day."