Devilishly Connected Gifts

"Talk for all of eternity, just $29 a month."

He was different from the other doctors. For one thing, he refused to play God.

I like this one. Do you have it in blue?

'Remember that outfit, Miss Wilson, that you said you wouldn't be seen dead wearing?'

Demonic Repossession.

'It's your turn to put the cat out.'

Mephistopheles

'The problem is you're a perfectionist. You don't always have to be totally evil. Sometimes it's OK to just be annoying.'

Bat out of Hell

"So much for eternal rest."

'Sir, we're just not reaching them. Only a small percentage of people own vinyl records, and hardly anyone thinks to play them backwards.'

'I'm sorry, this is the line for people who volunteered to help their community. You're looking for the eternal damnation department.'

'Wrong fork. Good Lord, man, don't you have any table manners?'

'I've been married to your sister for 9 years, so why should I be scared of you?'

Swelling

'This is why I had to pad my resume.'

Summer in Hell

Chip off the old Anti-Christ.

"I'll have Envy for starter, Greed for Main and Lust to follow."

'We've got the neighbours from hell.'

Marathon in Hell.

'This is an amicable split. Coach O'Neill has done a great job. We just have different ideas...'

'To be honest, rock n'roll isn't my thing at all, I'm much more a country n'western kinda guy.'

...To tell the truth, I find them quite becoming.

'Dearest, do you smell something not burning?'

"Amid all the chaos, I'm just grateful to have a job where I can work from home."

"You had me at hell."

Hell's Smoking Section

"Soul patch. What do you think?"

BREAK TIME!

'Is it my fault they didn't send me to obedience school?'

"Shouldn't we be into soul music?"

The Devil playing a prank on a homeless person.