Devil's Advocate Ponderer Gifts

"A breakthrough, but not a major breakthrough."

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

"Excellent, excellent. A fine blend of truths, half-truths, and blatant falsehoods."

Snow Devil

"Hey, I'm just playing devil's avocado!"

Plan to Split California into Six States Proposed....

"We need to think outside the pentangle."

'I knew if we waited long enough, heaven would downsize.'

'So, gentlemen, how's the dollar trading against the immortal soul, today?'

The Lessons of VietnamThe Lessons of Iran and ContraThe Lessons of Iraq.

'It's another corporate lawyer...do we want to buy a soul?'

The Price of Freedom

"Nixon was the same way when he first got here."

Route 666

Devil's Tower Park. Ernie, this nice ranger has offered to show us the basement gift shop.

"Dave, quick word about religious symbols in the workplace..."

"I'm both too liberal to be preppy and too conservative to be trendy."

"If anything else, it beats bending over!"

"I told you to pack a damned sweater."

"Behold! I am God! I know all. Yet I'm constantly testing you even though I already know what you'll do. But I'll still punish you for the sins I planned for you to do. And you'll suffer in a fiery pit, tormented beyond imagining forever and ever and ever

'You think this is hot. Try having hot flashes, too.'

"Isn't it true that the prosecution offered you a bone to testify?"

"Those are insightful and legitimate questions about our country, Tommy, and if times were different, your mom and I probably wouldn't have to report you to the government for asking them!"

'Social and political revolution? Check out our 'Do It Yourself' section.'

'Just think of one of these as enabling legislation for the golden rule.'

"These are the care instructions. And if things don’t work out, there’s a recipe on the back."

"We've now got a higher approval rating than the media."

"These brisk fall afternoons remind me of Chekhov, which reminds me of Putin, then Trump, the alt-right, facism, nuclear weapons ... let's go home."

'I chose here since heaven won't allow you to take your bonus and golden parachute with you.'

Religious texts from heaven and hell find common ground...they are made in China.

'I know you don't belong here, but if we let you go to Heaven, we couldn't not guarantee your safety.'

"Where do you see yourself in five years? Haha, just kidding!"

"It's great the way that computer algorithms allow the internet to feed me with opinions that reinforce the ones I've already got - all on my phone!"

'I'm putting you in charge of past due accounts.'