Devil's Advocate Humor Gifts

"And, if you don't have an attorney, we have millions of them."

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

Snow Devil

"Hey, I'm just playing devil's avocado!"

'So, gentlemen, how's the dollar trading against the immortal soul, today?'

'I knew if we waited long enough, heaven would downsize.'

'It's another corporate lawyer...do we want to buy a soul?'

"Dave, quick word about religious symbols in the workplace..."

"Nixon was the same way when he first got here."

Route 666

'What'll it be?'

"I told you to pack a damned sweater."

"Behold! I am God! I know all. Yet I'm constantly testing you even though I already know what you'll do. But I'll still punish you for the sins I planned for you to do. And you'll suffer in a fiery pit, tormented beyond imagining forever and ever and ever

'I chose here since heaven won't allow you to take your bonus and golden parachute with you.'

"Where do you see yourself in five years? Haha, just kidding!"

Religious texts from heaven and hell find common ground...they are made in China.

'I know you don't belong here, but if we let you go to Heaven, we couldn't not guarantee your safety.'

'I'm putting you in charge of past due accounts.'

'Let me guess - a toastmaster?'

"If you want my opinion you're damned if you do and damned if you don't."

"Can I see that 'National Law Journal' when you're through with it?"

Diabolical bureaucratic management

"You had me at hell."

'Sir, we have a problem. The attorney section is totally overcrowded!' (demon to Satan)

"I can't believe I sold my soul for platforms, they're so last season"

"Say what you will about Donald Trump, he's one helluva negotiator."

This is where Brent council sends you

'Just be patient. Greed always makes a come back.'

"What about you, Bob – do you think you're being a little possessive?"

"Wow! If global warming goes on it will cut our heating costs by 12 percent!"