Devil And Angel Fans Pillows

'We definitely need tighter border controls!'

Shoe repair

"First, we tell everybody that you're in rehab. I'll take it from there."

Diabolical bureaucratic management

"It sounds good so far, are there any strings attached?"

'I'm here due to an identity theft.'

"The Devil's Advocate." Press Room. At last, Ernie, the first edition of our newspaper is ready to go! Did we cover all seven deadly sins? I think so ... We've got greed in the business section, sloth in the leisure section, gluttony in the restaurant reviews and lust in the movie reviews. How about envy and pride? Envy in the gossip column, pride in birth announcements. Okay, but how about wrath? Hey, the opinion section is full of it!

"Well, well, well! Your parents certainly messed up when they named you, didn't they, Angelo?"

"Well...this constant badness is just sooo wearisome...."

Water Balloons.

'Well, in all my years as a relationships adviser, this is the first time I've had to admit defeat within the first five minutes!'

'You've come straight from an atheist birthday party?!!' 'EIGHTIETH! EIGHTIETH!'

'It's another 'Wish you were here' postcard from my friend in Hell.'

'I was on my way to a costume party when it happened...'

'What are these for? You only bring me flowers when you've done something good.'

'I'm real sorry. It was all the 'blonde' jokes you told.'

Devil Tricks

'He was a good rabbit dog.'

"I'm your guardian angel. But due to some technical glitz, I happen not to be invisible!"

'Are these billable hours?'

'I'd feel very fortunate if I were you. My music WAS appreciated in my lifetime, and then played to death in elevators and shopping malls!'

Dog Heaven

'Yes, it takes a while to find the right cycle on the washer!'

Mother with Child.

'You'll love my new boyfriend, Dad. He's a real angel.'

"Yeah - I keep getting aborted."

"Just what I thought... Bad shock absorbers."

"Artie, you would not believe what’s going on down there."

'My manager thought this might help me sell a few more CDs.'

'We're from Manhattan."

"Does anyone else's robe say 'Hyatt'?"

'It's really nothing to be embarrassed about!'

He' not a quitter - I

"The nerve! Wearing red pumps!"

"It always takes me a couple of cups of coffee to feel the rapture."