Detox Champion Gifts

Captain's Log: Day 3 of Polly's cracker detox was a tough one...

Be Healthy

“It's a tree, sweetie. No need to Google it.”

'When I asked you to do research for your assignment, I meant the library not on Google!'

"Nature speaks to me of God’s presence, yet God is a total stranger to the restless world of men." "Why the #!@* is there no signal?!"

"My monthly screen time went up from 62 hours to ‘Holy #@!*’."

"It takes a few days for them to detox from screens."

"Nice try, Jim, but there's no such thing as a 'Beer cleanse'."

Hiking sign - Stop, pause, play, skip forward, skip back

"It was a dark and stormy night, for the Wi-Fi was down."

"Lately, I've been trying to spend less time staring at the glowing orb."

America Off-line.

"But I brought you here so I wouldn't have to play with you."

"According to my phone, society is on the brink of collapse, but, according to our living room, things seem pretty O.K."

Woman puts a targeting sight on her vacuum cleaner.

'I'm detoxing - do you have any mineral water?'

"You spend far too much time on social media, Joe!"

'My best method for relieving stress is to misplace my cellphone.'

Children's games and technology

I'd like to order a power outage. Huh? My wife's on her phone all day, my son plays video games nonstop. My boss finds me by email wherever and whenever. My pager rings 'round the clock! Say again? I was text messaging. Pull the plug, man!

"Sale. Save 100% of your energy by closing this website. Close now. No, thanks."

"I'm looking for a data plan that will be constantly out of service so I can tell my dates I didn't mean to ghost them."

'Let's have a quiet romantic evening together...we'll turn our cell phones off.'

"The alarm will alert us when our meditative, present-moment-restoring tech break has ended."

Screen Time at the Dining Table

"Let's bury the TV remote and all the cell phones, then sit back and watch what happens."

'How is the detox going?'

Deposit phones here

"Behold, Penny. The 'Wi-Fi dead zone.'"

"For your enjoyment: Please turn off electronic devices, close your eyes, and cover your ears."

"Isn't this so much better without our devices?"

"Hello, police? I'd like to report some suspicious activity. A youth without a phone in his hand."

Well that's me detoxed!

NIl by 'phone.

"I haven't seen you look at your me-phone for five whole minutes. What gives?"