Detox Champion Gifts

Captain's Log: Day 3 of Polly's cracker detox was a tough one...

“It's a tree, sweetie. No need to Google it.”

Be Healthy

"Nature speaks to me of God’s presence, yet God is a total stranger to the restless world of men." "Why the #!@* is there no signal?!"

"My monthly screen time went up from 62 hours to ‘Holy #@!*’."

"Nice try, Jim, but there's no such thing as a 'Beer cleanse'."

"It takes a few days for them to detox from screens."

Hiking sign - Stop, pause, play, skip forward, skip back

"It was a dark and stormy night, for the Wi-Fi was down."

"Lately, I've been trying to spend less time staring at the glowing orb."

America Off-line.

"But I brought you here so I wouldn't have to play with you."

"According to my phone, society is on the brink of collapse, but, according to our living room, things seem pretty O.K."

Woman puts a targeting sight on her vacuum cleaner.

'I'm detoxing - do you have any mineral water?'

"You spend far too much time on social media, Joe!"

'My best method for relieving stress is to misplace my cellphone.'

"I'm looking for a data plan that will be constantly out of service so I can tell my dates I didn't mean to ghost them."

'Let's have a quiet romantic evening together...we'll turn our cell phones off.'

Children's games and technology

"Sale. Save 100% of your energy by closing this website. Close now. No, thanks."

"Behold, Penny. The 'Wi-Fi dead zone.'"

"The alarm will alert us when our meditative, present-moment-restoring tech break has ended."

"Let's bury the TV remote and all the cell phones, then sit back and watch what happens."

Screen Time at the Dining Table

Deposit phones here

"Isn't this so much better without our devices?"

"For your enjoyment: Please turn off electronic devices, close your eyes, and cover your ears."

'How is the detox going?'

"Hello, police? I'd like to report some suspicious activity. A youth without a phone in his hand."

Well that's me detoxed!

NIl by 'phone.

"They don’t seem to mind us — it's the humans they want to keep away."

"Come home when the internet's back on."