Detention Escapee Gifts

'The Principal suspended me-- School is the only place in the world where you can get time off for bad behavior.'

"Why don't we switch off the news and give Brexit up for Lent?"

"My husband is taking me on a cruise, so I’m looking for a book that will help me forget that I’m on a cruise with my husband."

Child using building blocks to get over a baby gate.

'Will Mr. 'No Comment' please remain after class.'

'Do you have to be so melodramatic?'

'Is your verdict unanimous?'

Life is simpler in the sticks.

'It's no use. Even the mountains remind me of the office.'

Write "Brenda' but use disappearing ink

"Who would've thought Ms. Marcus had so little sense of humor?"

"You and your lists! You're missing out on life."

"I've been dying to hit the dance floor in a crowded nightclub."

"I've had to leave the city: the noise pollution was making it difficult for me to fly safely..."

"I don't remember a thing about going back to the pubs."

"Everyone we know is escaping and you sit there doing nothing."

"Ah, its great to get away from the rat race!"

Wilderness - City.

'Having a lot of underlings doesn't make you an overling!'

"Hi, J.B. Guess where I am."

"Yes, yes, but it’s only an hour from Manhattan."

"Someday I'll buy a little place in the country and take my finger off the Zeitgeist."

Travel Agents - Water, water, anywhere with water.

Cartoonist draws bomb next to prisoner.

"Yeah, but it's okay because they'll never take me alive again."

"I caught him using Google Maps to look out our classroom windows."

Prisoner escape

'We'd like to get away from reality TV.'

"Long story short, twenty minutes ago I wuz foolin' around on the prison computer... pressed the 'escape' key, and here I am!"

For use in case of wrongful arrest.

'It's from my wife's lawyer - she's giving me my freedom.'

"When you said every single one of us without exception, did you mean me too?"

"I guess you've heard bad spin about me."

"Just came back to pick up my mail."

Parting Shot