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Man reading a giant book.

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

Shepherd and eurydice

At the end of each day, Gary had approximately 7 minutes of free time – which left him feeling very vulnerable.

"1984 by George Orwell. Project 2025. Presidential transition project."

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"Bond James, Bond."

"To torture an insect or not to torture an insect, that is the question."

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

They hated me.

'Let the creepy crawly hunt begin!'

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

Domestic Superheroes!!

"Hulk no can be mad at Mr. Puppy Face"

'On your mark. Get set. Create!'

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

Showbiz Awards

'Boy, the fish are really biting today, aren't they, Fred?'

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

"These aren’t the droids you’re looking for."

"Hold it right there, ma'am! If you get too close to the artwork, I'll have to ask you to leave the gallery."

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

In his younger days Spock was quite the comedian.

Benedict Cumberbatch

"This is a great spot to practice mighty roars son..."

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."