Desk Job Dodger Pillows

"I joined a youth gang because I can't sit behind a desk for 8 hours."

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

"You created a robot to do your homework for you? Apparently, laziness is the mother of invention."

Out and In.

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

'Can I call you back, Frank? A giant maggot is eating my desk, people are shooting at me and my hair is on fire.'

Commutobile

"Yes, also it keeps you fit."

'On your marks. Get set. Go!' - 'Come on! Keep going! You can do it!' - 'Yay! You're 8 hours closer to the grave!' - 'Oh, God.'

"Of course I have a life. Not one worth living, mind you."

"Does it count it after an 80 hour week he's here in body but his mind is off in La La land?"

Scapegoat of the Year

'When will I be old enough to have my own people?'

'We built this city on Rock 'n' Roll, yeah baby. Is not an accurate assessment of our town's history.'

'My multi-tasking turned into faulty-tasking.'

'He's kind of a rescue dog. He points to where the hardest work is, so that I can run into the opposite direction!'

"Your top 10 list of reasons why you didn't do your homework is creative, but not acceptable."

"Sorry for the wait, our computers are down. We have to do everything manually."

'What does L.B.W. mean?'

Inkwell Genie.

'Remember when we used desktop computers? When everyone at least 'looked' busy?'

'Hard day at work, dear?'

'Only another thirty-four years, five months and fourteen days until I retire.'

"Less hair doesn't mean less work!"

Homework flavored dog food

'Being taller than me will get you nowhere.'

"All right, what's it going to take to make this homework go away?"

"My dog ate my homework. Then the backup files were hacked by Russians."

'Too long at his desk...we're going need surgery to cut him free.'

"It's hard being a TV viewer trapped in the body of a student."

Boxes marked 'In', 'Out' and 'How did this end up on my desk?'

"The first of many cubicles..."

"Now that you mention it, I have to admit, the daily grind IS starting to get to me!"

'Remember, Preston, all work and no play make you employed.'